What can I do about my guy friend?

I have feelings for the guy I live with, and I thought I wanted him and his long distance girlfriend to break up, we do flirt, he does touch me, play fight and we talk frequently. They broke up yesterday and I feel so sorry for him, he's in such a depressed mood, not his usually flirty self, what can I do to help him, I feel like he's being Whiny on purpose to get attention but he's really hurt.

How can I help him? And stop feeling this way? Like it's bitter sweet I just want him to be happy but I knew that girl took advantage of him and hurt him a lot, they were always fighting but I know he loves her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Console him, yes. However keep up your guard and have boundaries. The sad truth is that, yes you like him, but if you allow him to pursue you at this time or you to pursue him -- you are simply going to be his choice because you were there and you two just happened. I don't think any female wants that unless they are completely selfish in a sense or a tad crazy lol - that is not romantic or loving whatsoever.

    I could understand a relationship coming from his break up if you were part of the reason - because he was confused and wanted to be with both of you but couldn't make his mind up and now it hurts when he finally said goodbye to his ex. - that is understandable.

    Just becareful and protect your heart.

    Also take in consideration that you two live together! -- If this goes sour then so does your living situation.

    Take it slow darling. Take it slow. Be his friend... and then see where it goes.

    • We were always close, he says we are just friends but doesn't treat me like it, he cares for me but is still in love with his ex and I think that's what is stopping him.

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    • Yes I am, he was very surprised when I said it too, not many 20 year olds are. Yes he is great at times lol he actually touched me sexually until he realized I never had a boyfriend and never been intimate with someone and he backed away.

      Do you think he was scared to go any further because I never been sexually with anybody?

      And yes maybe down the road when he heals from the break up, which would take a while considering they were together for almost 2 years, but constant fighting and distance broke them up.

      Yes that is also true many men would think something took place between you two. I hope if we don't turn out as something I will still have him as a close friend in my life. It's great you both still keep in contact.

      I did admit I had feelings for him but he was still with his girlfriend and he said I deserved better that I should experience the whole sexual experience with someone I truly love. I thought he just feared taking my virginity and myself being clingy.

    • Sorry it is a late reply... I don't think he is scared - I think he just cares about you. You are pure and your purity is the most precious thing. I can see down the line, once you two fall in love *together*, then I can see him being honored to take your virginity. Right now however, you are like a rare jewel. I really do believe that is the reason behind it. :) That you are special.

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What Guys Said 4

  • comfort him the best way you know how. do it from the heart.

  • Treat him the way you would want to be treated. A hug is always good too. let him heal. be careful not to be the rebound girl tho too. . since you stated you are a virgin and he has honoered that. It shows he has a lot of respect for you. If you think he is the one take it slow let nature take its course but let him know about your feelings for him. Do not talk bad about the ex.

  • well you obviously dont know how to treat a guy right, so who would want you for a girlfriend or friend in the first place?

    • In terms of what? I'm sure every woman gets jealous enough to want to be in the other woman's place, I think what I'm feeling is reasonable, and you don't know exactly the full story to judge.

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