Do you ever feel like you're just flavor of the month or day when it comes to dating?

So I've had hookups, dates, and flings, but I still have had never had any serious relationships to this day. A lot of times, I feel that when I do have dates and flings with women it will go well for awhile and I will feel a connection to some of them, but at some point, they either quit contacting me or pull a 180 and I don't know what I did wrong. The longest they'll last is about 1 month to 3 months.

I'm not trying to sound like one of those guys that says why don't girls like me, I'm a nice guy because honestly I hate that shit. I do get told I'm nice, but honestly I do not have that mentality that if I'm nice I'll get something out of it or go around telling others I'm nice. I think there's a difference between being told you're nice and being a self-proclaimed nice guy.

Anyways, I feel that I'll hit it off with a girls initially. The dates will go well and they'll say let's keep in touch, hit me up, etc and I just take it at face value. Then at some point, even if I give space or ask them for another date, contact them, etc (not constantly or all at once) it seems like they are no longer interested and the worst part is I don't even know what I did wrong. I try not to over analyze, but it naturally happens. It's like I don't know if I did too or much or didn't do enough.

The really frustrating thing about it is that it's a double edged sword. I feel that if I ask about what I'm doing wrong, then I'll come off as paranoid, a worrier, or someone with a low self-esteem, but if I don't know, I'll keep on making the same mistake over and over again and be in the same constant cycle as switching from girl to girl (unintentionally) when it comes to dating,

Does anyone know what I'm talking about and have experienced something similar? If so what would you suggest?


Most Helpful Girl

  • sometimes but I am getting better at searching out quality men

    • Well the women I'm seeking out aren't bad or crazy. Some of them I truly connected with and I'd still play it by ear and then it'd be over all of a sudden.

    • I guess what I mean to say is, I don't know if quality of women I'm searching for is the issue.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I f you think that you are a okay guy then why would you worry. Night club
    is not the only thing that girls like Ask a girl what they like , invite her dinner at your house or attend church there is so many places to meet nice girls. See a image consultant

    • Well the thing is, I don't worry and then it just ends out of nowhere causing me to overanalyze. It's like I don't even get a chance and I take responsibility for my actions as well as others should. I'm definitely not saying I'm perfect and everyone else has issues. It's just frustrating when you have a thing going for awhile and then they disappear leaving you to pick up all the pieces and you don't understand what you did wrong. It's happened with friends as well.

    • And by the way I do ask what they like and try to get to know them.

What Guys Said 1

  • i dont know how long ago you posted this, but i definitely feel you bro, same exakt situations i have been in. I hate knowing that i am able to physically attract a good ammount of women but never be good enough to be special and important to them, i can get them to become intimate with me etc, but rarely if ever do they seem to want to stick around or pursue something serious.

    It sucks and when i hear about other peoples past serious relationships i can't help but feel like my value is lower than them, because of my lack of experience with deep relationships.

    • Yeah it sucks. I mean there's a few women I'm seeing off dating sites and not trying to be a player but when you use those, you may as well multi date because you can pretty much bet the other person is too. Have you ever been in a relationship?

      Truth be told, I could have been in a relationship with a girl I dated for a short but I had no physical attraction to her. I'm not shallow or have high standards but there's gotta be some physical attraction. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone I'm not.

    • I also think POF should get rid of the longest relationship section at the bottom. I don't go around advertising that I've never had a gf but I feel like if I put over 0 years, it'd be a huge turnoff to women at this age or they might think what's wrong with this guy. I've only had 2 girls ask about my longest/most recent relationship and I lied because it was very early on and even though I'm not a virgin with sex, I think being a relationship virgin has the same stigma.

      I think it might have 2 bad stigmas with being a relationship virgin. One might think I'm a player with commitment issues and never wants anything serious. Another might think there's some flaw I have that made women not wanna pursue a relationship with me,

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