How to stop worrying about finding that girl who is right for me and will like me back and at the same time, maximize my chances?

I do have somewhat of an idea of what I am currently looking for in a girl. Though many of my crushes didn't fit this type, I really like the sweet and polite type. The kind of girls you can trust, won't let you down, and are down-to-earth, supportive and are just overall very pleasant. At least that's what I think I like at this point currently.

Anyway, I can't get my mind of this and how I will ever find one. Dating these days just seems like so much to get through and there are so many circunstances that can cause even a girl that likes you back to not enter a relationship with you. The timing wasn't right, this happened, that happened, or maybe she just doesn't like you back. So maby things, and I haven't even gotten a single date yet. I did try asking a few girls out over the past few months (or ask for their number or make a move in some way) and no success yet.

Being short and a different race doesn't help my corcumstances but I know that it's confidence and all that that matters. However, my point being, I can't imagine a girl ever crushing on me herself and actually coming up to me. I am afraid I will always have to make the first move, usually without any initial indication of interest because most likely they won't be attracted to me at first. I am going to have to show them what's on the inside and hope they gradually become attracted to me. Essentially, I probably won't ever be able to woo a girl on the basis of looks even partially. So that makes it all the harder, especially because my social, flirting, being myself, and confidence skills still need much improvement, which I am working on. I am also working on not being as shallow and recognizing more what's on the inside (not completely taking physical attraction out of the equation, but just giving it less value). Because that's what really matters.

So anyway, how can I stop worrying about this so much and what can I do to maximize my chances?

I am 16.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just be your self! And be patient and dont rush into things that will make a girl want to run away, or me at least.. Sometimes you have to take risk. :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • first you are too young to worry about that. second you definitely will get taller. i was a shorty at 16 now i am avg 5'10"
    third if you are still short and not that attractive you won't get a girl to make the first move EVER unless you show her you personality. that is by joining activities that has girls and be fun. show them how you are so much more on the inside. good luck

    • Well I have two short parents, so... but yeah the last bit is exactly what I will try and do.

    • my dad is "five, one" exactly 155 cm and my mom is 154 cm. me and my brothers are 175 cm

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just let it happen dude. It takes a longgg time to get "The Right one." I'm 17. It took me from 12 'till now to find it.

    • But man, that advice only works for girls. The "let it happen" and "stop looking". I mean you can't just sit there and not do anything. You have to expose yourself at various places and put yourself out there I woukd inagine at the very least.

      Actually, even girls to an extent have to be available and make it possible for us to see them, though the pressure to initiate things and expose themselves on them os less.

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    • And there wouldn't be Multiple "Right One's". If there was, then we'd be meeting them often now wouldn't we?

    • I agree with you. There will be just one who will be compatible with you, and able to stick it out for the rest of her life, and yours. The key isn't just waiting, but watching, learning, and not only this, but becoming more mature. You will NEED to be able and ready to totally surrender a MAJOR portion of your desires, wants, heart, and soul to another human being with those same emotions. In return, you will get all of her. But going into it immature will end up disaster, especially if you DO meet the right one before you yourself are ready to meet her.