How can I prove to a girl I really like that I won't leave/hurt her so she doesn't push me away?

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, and the first time we hung out, we hit it off. cuddling, holding hands, and ending the night with a goodnight kiss. but during the day, she told me that she tends to push guys away, and that she is going to try her extra hardest not to push me away. Even though I looked straight into her eyes, and said "I will never hurt you or leave you" It didn't seem to cut it. so throughout the days of hanging out at either my house or hers, we always had a great time. she would always tell me I made her day, and that she is happy she found me. but Tuesday night came around (7/22/14) and we were talking about the situation. I told her I want her to be comfortable and I don't want to suffocate her. Everyone needs their space I get it. and she sent me a long text saying, "Yes I tend to like my space probably more than most people, Im just used to being alone because I have been for a long time. In my life I've had a lot of people leave so im terrified of that happening again, so thats why i tend to cut people off. I do it before they can. Im trying my hardest not to resort back to my nromal ways, and its rough. I do my best to let you know what's going on with me,, but that's not something im used to either." And again. I reminded her I won't leave, but she said with her trust issues, its hard. (keep in mind she's never had a boyfriend). and after that she said ill talk to you tomorrow, but she hasn't texted me. the last time she texted me was thursday, saying "I'm Not cutting you off, I just need to think". and I haven't heard from her since. So im getting the feeling she is pushing me away, and Im willing to do what ever it takes to prove to her Im here to stay. I was thinking of showing up to her house with my ukulele and playing and singing count on me by Bruno Mars, but if anyone else has any ideas, or tips, I would appreciate it. and by the way, I'm 18, and she is 17...

And also, i spoke to a few of her friends one guy and one girl, and they both said out of all the guys she has talked to, she talked about me the mostr. So maybe thats a good sign. but I feel like if I wait around, she'll lose interest.


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  • Well, for one thing, saying it when u just met someone, trust is always an issue... so only time and doing what you say, and keeping your promises will allow her to learn to trust you. You can't expect trust out of nowhere specially if that person has been hurt before. Probably even by guys who once said these same things to her. U just have to give her time, remember, love is patient.

  • This isn't about her this is about you. I understand you don't want her to leave but that's out of your control. If she decides to push away it's her own choice and her own actions. You don't need and honestly can't prove to her you are there to stay because it's not you that has to do the convincing it's her. She has to make up her own mind to trust you. Just be there if she decides to come back. Most people who push away push away from people they fear and they don't fear you leaving they fear having turmoil in their lives. So on one side she fears you leaving and on the other side she fears letting people get to close and pushing to change her mind is just going to make things worse. So why did I say this is about you? Because it is. You're worried about her leaving why? If that's what she chooses to do why is it such a big deal? What are you afraid of and why do you think it's your responsibility to do something about this? You can't make everyone happy especially not when they aren't willing

    • i just feel like her and I would go well together, and I want her to be happy. And i believe I can do that for her

    • Nope. You can't make anyone happy but yourself. You can be happy with her but you can't make her happy. Being happy is a choice. A choice that she alone has to make. Also you have to be aware of your own mind as well as her. You have an image of her and an image of you and an idea of what you want to be to her. She on the other hand has an image of herself that's entirely different from your image of her and she has a an image of who she thinks you are that's entirely different than who you think you are. You have to accept that. She has to decide to want this relationship on her own time and there's nothing you can do about that. You may think that you'll make her happy and she may think that you two don't work. You can try but it's probably not going to do much. Relationships take two people who both want to make it work.

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