Why do guys I like never likes me back?

A lot of my girl friends and few of guy friends commented me that I'm a quite pretty and eligible girl. And, I have a few guys who liked me (but I didn't like them).

But, all the guys I liked in my entire life never like me back. It's been 4 of them so far. I'm a very shy person and those experiences over the years make me more shy and have zero confident around the guy I like.

I used to stay positive but tonight I reach to the point that I become very very sad about it as I just found out the guy I like does not like me back... AGAIN! What's wrong with me? I really need all the help possible. :'(


Most Helpful Guy

  • How do you know that they don't like you?

    • Well... take the recent guy I've been fallen for. He's nice and friendly towards me at first. I thought we had something. I was too shy around him and not sure if he knows I like him. I try to hide it due to my past experience but by the way he looks at me and the way he acts a little tense around me, I think that he can sense/suspect I like him. Lately, he's been smiling at me less and being stern towards me, avoid any physical contact with me (while he is having plenty with other lady friends), starts to comfortable make sexual jokes with others in front of me, never looks at me and sometimes, I feel that he's deliberately doing some of the things to let me know I'm just a normal person to him. It's just too sad.

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    • If you're shy and can't change then don't. Try other methods, let's take the example of the guy you were talking about in your response to jesseray's answer. You could hug him when you see him, sit closer to him, touch his hands. Physically flirt instead of verbally flirt, if that's your problem. Scientifically touch, even as simple as you laying your hand over his or hugging him, releases a hormone called oxytocin. It's a bonding hormone. Quite literally it will make him bond to you more, make him like you more. Flirting does a similar thing, it just has far less of an effect. Since you seem to be too shy, try what I've suggested. Simply: it's biochemistry, make it work for you.

    • WOW... thanks a lot for thorough and thoughtful answer. I've noted all well. I'll definitely try them too. Thanks a lot!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • The problem with shyness is that it can make people look boring, insecure, and uncommunicative. I'm not saying that these words describe you correctly, only that people could misread you and think that way. That is killing your dating prospects. You would benefit from some Exposure Therapy. Basically, this means that you putting yourself into the situations that make you scared or uncomfortable, such as social settings that bring out your shyness, and then do your best to fight your feeling of being scared or uncomfortable. Force yourself to lower your barriers, to open up to people, to socialize more, and to flirt more. As you continue to expose yourself to shyness-inducing situations and fight the shyness, you will find that your shyness will begin to fade away, which will definitely help your dating prospects.

    • Thanks a lot for insightful answer. I totally agree with you that my shyness make me look "boring, insecure and uncommunicative". That's exactly how I feel. This guy I'm having a crush now, he seems to be really patient with my shyness at the beginning. Always starts a conversation with me although I'm standing like a stone. Just lately, he starts to act cold and showing all the signs that he doesn't like me. I've well-noted of your answer and I'll try to fight my shyness. Really thank you.

  • This happens to people all around, all the time. With every person you meet, the dice is thrown. Dating is a numbers game, as not everyone you like will like you, and not every guy who likes you will find you liking them.
    Don't get too upset and frustrated. Keep moving on, and your patience will reward you.
    You'll find a guy who likes you back. Trust me on that.

    • Thanks a lot for your answer. I feel like giving up already. I've been trying to be patient for so many years. It's just painful to experience the same scenario again and again. Scenario goes like this... I like the guy and I'm shy around him. He seems to be nice and friendly at first, then after a while he starts to act cold towards me/ignores me. I don't know why I have to repeat the same process again and again. Now I'm too afraid to fall in love.

    • If all the men act cold toward you/ignore you, I would see this as nothing coincidental. It could actually be that they like you, and you do something to completely alienate them.
      I've always said that if xz = y, y being the issue you're always having in any given situation, than you should look very hard at xz. x, for example, may be your shyness. z may be your behaviors in liking them. There may actually be another factor, a 'r' or a 'v' that is hidden causing it. So it may be rxz = y or rvxz = y.
      Take a hard look at your behaviors when you like a guy. It cannot be a coincidence.

    • Thanks a lot for the thoughtful answers. I'll do self-analysis again.

  • Well, what was wrong with the guys that you said liked you?

    • I do not fall in love with them :( They are nice and decent people. But I just don't love them.

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    • I'll try. Thanks a lot for pointing that out. Really appreciate your insight, rthomas43.

    • Good luck!

What Girls Said 2

  • hey... I have a similar problem which has left me with no dating experience at 22... I seem to attract guys that are rather boring and shy because I seem that way. someone has pointed that out to me. maybe that's the case with you aswell. and I know how bad it can feel liking guy after guy without them feeling the same... im recovering from one of those right now.

    try being the girl that would attract the guy you would like. and I would hate to suggest that you change who you are so simply just be you but outside of your shell.

    I hope this will help you somehow and maybe me too

    • Thanks heap for your encouraging answer, pukom92. I wish you all the best and happiness too and to find one true love soonest.

  • i had the same problem, but i just let it go and soon enough... im friends with benefits with a guy i met online...

    • Thank you for your answer. I'm glad you're happy now.

    • Yeah... and i wanted a point for being the first girl to comment lol

    • LOL! Well there you have it ;)

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