Am I being selfish or is she being selfish?

Me and my girl have been talking for about 4 months now. It's a long distance relationship. We're both still in high school. She's about to be a senior (just turned 17) and I'll be a sophomore (about to turn 16 real soon) Long story short she plays volleyball and I do wrestling. If we both did our sports this coming up year we would hardly be able to talk bc our schedules would overlap along with school work and it would be so hard and I just can't let that happen bc I love her so much. I was a varsity wrestler as a freshman with a guaranteed spot on variety next year. She has been on varsity volleyball for 3 years and we both LOVE our sports. we love it and they make us happy. So awhile ago I told her that I didn't want this relationship to drift this coming up year so I told her I would give up wrestling so we could still talk. And then I tried to get her to quit volleyball and it didn't go over so well. She claims that she can't quit and she loves it too much and it makes her so happy bc she's good at it and she enjoys it. But I'm the exact same way with wrestling. I love it. But I quit for one reason. To talk to her. and it makes me sad and quite frankly gets me angry bc she won't quit her sport even though I'm going to quit mine.

HER OPINION: She says I'm being selfish bc I don't want to support her in her sport and I don't want anything else to make her happy except me.

MY OPINION: I say she's being selfish bc I quit my sport and she won't quit hers.

In all honesty I am a little selfish with relationships but I'm really trying to change for her And I did bc I quit a sport that I was great at. I got second place in regionals and it was only my first year ever. And I dropped it for Us to be happy together. Sometime I get sad or angry even when she goes 2 practice and I'm scared for what might happen when school starts.

I just need some advice on how 2 feel about this situation. I really want us to work..

Any help is appreciated.

Thank you.

  • Is she being selfish?
    Vote A
  • am I being selfish?
    Vote B
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Thanks for your opinions and thoughts but that wasn't the matter at hand. Is she being selfish for not quitting or am I being selfish for wanting her to quit?
Thanks again guys.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel both of you are too young to give up dreams and hopes for the sake of a relationship. Both of you are immature at this stage. Its very rare for teenagers to hold on to relationship promises, 'coz you are still learning about life. But, its not impossible. As far as being selfish, why don't both of you allow each other to be selfish and do their own thing. That's also a way of showing love. There are ways of keeping in touch long-distance, if you make up your mind. Depends on how much you love her.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Don't quit your sport!!! Relationships come and go but your life - what you produce - what you do - how you live - what you believe - what you value - and where you work - these things last forever and are permanent. Next time make a mutual agreement before you quit something.

  • I think you're being selfish because she didn't tell you to quit. You choose to quit the thing you love for her, which was stupid in my opinion on your part, and told her that she had to do the same which is unfair to ask. I don't think either of you should quit and just pick a time during the week where you both spend like an hour talking.

  • i think you will find an other moment to talk to her and it's sweet you would do that for her but you can't tell someone to quit with what there doing :) you probably like this girl because she likes sports (and other reasons) so why would you ask her to quit something she loves :) if you 2 are meant to be you could wait one year? no? and you will find other moments :D

  • I'm on your girlfriend's side with this one, most Highschool relationships don't last and you shouldn't give up something you love for one girl

  • Don't quit for a girl! You need to continue wrestling! I'm a stat keeper for wrestling at my school and I wouldn't even give up stat keeping for a boy. (at my school the stat keepers have to show up to all practices that the wrestlers do in order to go to meets and tournaments)

  • Dude why did you quit! That shit can get you a scholarship!

    Education > Four month relationship


What Guys Said 1

  • You god damned fucking idiot. Call up your coach immediately and beg for your spot on the roster back.
    Neither of you should quit your sport. That is fucking absurd.