Confusion after first date ahh!?

Basically I've been speaking to this girl on the phone for about a month and I thought she was really into me and stuff so i asked her if she would like to go on a date with me. She said yes and so I went on this date with her, took her out for a meal and a drink and during she did say she had a little bit of anxiety. We then went back to hers because she had to babysit.. I didn't have sex with her but I went to 3rd base (oral). I stayed the night I got the feeling she loved it. 2 Days later she text me with the following:

"I think the other day went really well although I don't really know if I'm in a good place for a relationship and I just wanted to tell you as I don't want to lead you on and you deserve better, I will be there if you need to talk as a friend but I don't know myself if I want anything serious right now and I need some time to think as my dad and step mum are struggling at the moment and I need to focus on my relationships with them. X

I said "is that the truth?" and she replied with:

"Yeah no definitely I'm being honest okay.. I don't want to be committed to someone when my family life is so shit rn between my parents and I'm caught in the middle.. It's not fair to get with you when Im not in the greatest Frame of mind because you deserve all of my attention! You are a really great guy and deffo won't lose contact with you because you will always mean a lot to me okay! Now isn't just the right time I assure you xx"

Is she being genuine and really wants to see me again or is she trying to get rid of me?


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What Girls Said 2

  • She's defintely being genuine. I think some girls are quite good at knowing when it isn't the right time to have a relationship, and this girl is obviously one of those. She knows it wouldn't be fair to either of you to enter into something she's not in the right head space for, because it would end badly. I've done this with guys before, because the timing wasn't right. It's good that she told you early on I think, so while you might feel a bit rubbish, at least you can know it's nothing against you.

    • Thanks Kate, should I carry on texting her or lay off for a couple of days?

    • I think you should maybe leave it for one day, just to give her some space, and then text her again just to check in - hi, just wanted to ask you how you were/how everything's going - something like that.

  • Yeah she is being genuine, NO girl would write such a long text if she didn't mean it. She is also giving you a lot of compliments, which she also probably wouldn't do if she didn't like you. I would stay friends with her, to show her you care about her (not just sex or whatever) and once her problems are resolved you two will probably date again <3

    • Thank god, that's a relief of you saying that because I do really like her. I hope to god what you said is true!

    • Yeah, not to sound cocky but I know I'm right😊, she is really into you. Good luck with your relationship with her! If you have other questions just message me

    • Should I carry on texting her or just let her be for a couple of days?

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