Is forcing a relationship to go faster counterproductive?

My crush doesn't want to admit that we're dating. She keeps hesitating, and she needs more time.

Would it be counterproductive or disrespectful of me to try to force things along? For example, trying to keep touching her (hand, shoulders) to increase physical attraction? Or trying to make her give a date when we can start dating, like after graduation. Or asking her best friend to egg her on for me?

Oh and, should I make her promise that she'd wait for me and not go out with another guy until she graduates in a year's time?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, extremely. You choosing to move faster than the pace she wants you to will only scare her and most likely push her away. My ex constantly tried to make our relationship more serious than it was, me being so young and knowing I had other things to work on, made me turn so anti commitment lol. Personally, I probably would've ended it a while ago if any guy started pressuring me into a relationship and telling me when we'd start dating.

    • I never knew it was that serious. ... Makes me kinda stressed because there were a lot of times I might have pressured her too much, but I always thought it is "normal". Thanks for your feedback, I'll probably try not to insinuate too much when I go out with her next time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It would definitely be counterproductive. I've been in this situation and so have several of my friends - the forcefulness will scare her, pressure her, and push her away. You need to be patient and slow down to the pace she wants, or she's going to run away.

    Besides that, it shows you respect her wishes. That's a big deal.

    • What is it that makes girls want to slow down? Is it true to say that most girls do it because they are scared of getting hurt, and not because they want to wait and see for more guys?

    • Show All
    • Its possible that she just doesn't want a relationship at all though.

    • Could be. But she wouldn't have entertained me for as long as she did if not. She admits that she even does go out with me or chat with me more so that any other person in her life.

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