Girls: We've been good friends for almost a year, she wanted more. We began to date. Out of nowhere she's retreated very quickly and won't talk to me?

Iv been friends with this girl for around a year, we met at work (she has since left). We got on well and became very close over the following months. We have the same interests in food/drink/music we go to the gym together & have almost identical personalities.
I break up with my Ex and she is there for me as a friend like she has always been. One day she tells me she likes me & wants to be more than friends I tell her I like her too but Im not ready to jump into a new relationship. She says she understands & that "if we are still having this talk in a year, she will walk away but to take as much time as I need". We spend more time together meeting up 3-4pw for a drink or a walk/drive.
I say that I dont want to start anything unless she is 100%, as I dont want to ruin a great friendship. She says that she is positive this is what she wants, that my ex didn't know how lucky she was & that I am different to every other guy. We agree to talk about our feeling as we transition from friends -> relationship; throughout these talks she is always telling me that things are "better than she ever could have imagined". We date for a number of weeks, she says she is still sure. By now we've kissed & made out.
>> We are now in a relationship, she has told her mam how much she likes me. She invites me to go away for the day with her fam months in advance and I agree.
>> Iv been for dinner with her family, slept at mine, we've had sex, her mam says I am welcome to stay at theirs any time, my parents say the same. Her mam was involved in an accident & she called me first (before her brother) I spent the evening in the hospital with her. She spends 3 days straight at mine then tells me she won't see me for a week as she's busy with work & has made plans with friends, however she will take me out on Sunday. Still texts me 24/7 morning - night. Sunday arrives, she says things arnt the same, cancels the date and now won't text/call/talk to me. What has happened?

Additional info:

Before we started dating she booked a girl holiday away, that is next Sunday. Will this have anything to do with it?
A friend (female) of ours has text her & called her a bitch for treating me this way. Weve had a talk, for maybe around an hour in person & basically cleared the air but she claims she doesn't know what she wants & that we should be friends. Confused


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like she cheated when she was with her friends and is trying to get out of the relationship without admitting what she did.

    • That thought had crossed my mind, but she generally doesn't seem like that kind of girl. Like I say we have been very close for a long time and everybody who knows her doesn't think she would. But how she is acting is completly out of character.

      Im hoping the fact she hasn't been with someone for a while, and the fact she is having a girly part holiday away next week combined with her being stressed both at work and at home with her mam's injury, (she is also moving about 30minutes away rather than being 30secs away in a month or two) has just made her scared. Maybe things have been too fast for her, which if it is the case we could dial things back a bit.

      I really like her and if she has done someting, or maybe even just thinks she might want to do something while she's away I could honestly get over it if she would just talk to me.

    • You don't ever get over a girl cheating. You dump her immediately. Do not ever put yourself in that kind of cuckold behavior.

    • As I say, the way I feel now - we are only 3 or 4 weeks into the official relationship I would honeslty think I could just hit the reset switch when she comes back from her holiday and start over. There are so many things running through my mind though.

      Has she cheated?
      Does she plan to?
      Is she just scared/unsure?
      Are things moving too fast for her?
      Has this all just been a game to her?
      Has she ever really liked me?
      Did she just enjoy the chase?

      The fact I have nothing to go on is making me question everything, including whether she is actually the person I, and everybody else who knows about the situation, thought she was.

  • Another vote for cheating. I've seen it multiple times word for word. What was discovered in all those instances? Cheated.

    • If that is the case, and she isn't the person who everyone thinks she is why has she told me she liked me? Why did she tell our mutual friends that she's liked me for months and she has never been happier? Why did she say she wanted more than to be friends? She initiated everything and now seems to be delibratly being nasty or heartless to me. She knows some of our mutual friends know, but doesn't even seem bothered about their opinion of her.

    • Show All
    • So if that is the case, is she ever going to talk to me again? Will I get my stuff back? Will she want her stuff? Is the reson she's being so delibratly distant because of guilt and as a result she's going to cut off all contact with me and our mutual friends? - Or given time when she comes back from her holiday will she try and initiate contact with me again?

    • I couldn't answer those question with certainty. Only time will tell. Who knows, maybe she didn't cheat. Just prepare yourself to the possibility and have low expectations about things.

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