How should I respond to a guy who is not ready for a relationship?

I had a date planned with this guy tonight who had recently ended a relationship. We have gone out a few times. However, I received a text from him this morning, saying this...
"I hate doing this but I have to be honest. I'm really not ready to start seeing people right now. It's been a weird process for me and you seem like an awesome girl who is secure with your life and I'm really not right now. I should be ready to move forward right now but I'm not and it's just not fair to you at all if you can't see the best side of me. I'm sorry when things calm down in my life I would love to explore the idea hanging out with you more".

I haven't replied, but was thinking of saying this...
"That's understandable. It seemed to me that that was the case, and I wanted to give you your space. I enjoy hanging out with you, and would love to remain friends. Let me know if you ever need to talk..."

Please let me know what you guys think! I'd love a male perspective here as well.

Thanks for the great feedback guys. I sent out the message I posted above, and he responded saying "thanks for understanding".

I won't be contacting him again unless he contacts me.
My next question is, do you think he will be back around?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think your reply is straight and to the point. A rare glimpse into handling rejection maturely. Kudos to you.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Yea thats pretty cool. For once a female being straight and honest!!!

  • The easiest way to respond to a guy how is not ready for a relationship Unless you want him to stick around. is to say get lost guy who is not ready for a relationship.

  • I'd say that's a great response. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket.

    • Thanks for your response.
      Do you think that he may not come back around?

    • Or do you think that something else may have come up for him?

    • It's tough to say. People can be so fickle, you can never really know. He may just be interested in someone else, and just wants to "stay friends" to keep you around as an option. He also may be telling the truth, and just needs time to get his life together. Even if he is telling the truth, he could really like you now, and change interest in a second. That's why I say not to put all your eggs in one basket. Keep your options open, even if you wanna focus on him.

  • Sounds nice :)

    And don't expect him to decide he's interested in you anytime soon. If you think you might be interested later, you could always add "And if you decide you'd like to pursue something later, you can let me know."


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