How to turn the odds?


I dated a woman last year. She was/is the best friend of a acquaintance. She was very interested at the very beginning.
We went several dates and third time she asked me to go to her place. We made out but I kinda refused to have sex with her.

Main reason was that I had that time another "girl-friend with benefits". Next day after the date I close everything with the "friend with benefits" because I really liked that woman and I wanted to have something with her. She's cute, intelligent, we share a lot of common hobbies.

The catch is she never wanted to go out with me again and as I understood later it was because she was disappointed with me not sleeping with her and she was very sexually active.

To make it short: I let down a woman for whom sexual life is very important (for me also!!) and now she thinks I'm a pus*y/not man enough/something like this.

I also tried to get in contact with her. She always answers, she is friendly but I couldn't get a date. I went out with some other women in the last year but I cannot get her out of my head and that moment when I pushed her away when she was on me follows me even now. It's like a fuc*ing nightmare.

The question/problem is: I have no idea how to turn everything around. And when I tried it seemed that I made it worse. Is there a way I can say, I can do? Everything I want to say to her sounds very pathetic when I write it down.

Even worst is that I already know the answer: MOVE THE FU*CK ON!!! But until now not a single woman from the last year helped me to do it.

Thanks for reading


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  • Nope nothing you can do man. When a woman is done with a man it is over. Nothing you can say or do. Any action on your part will only exacerbate things.

    You passed up sex because you had a friends with benefits at the time? Ridiculous on all counts. If nothing else you've learned a valuable lesson.

    • I had a deal with my "friend with benefits": we are allowed to step out anytime without hard feelings but we had to be exclusive. And I did it next day. I was honest and told her what's going on and she forgot "step out anytime without hard feelings" - she didn't take it well.
      Lost a nice "friend with benefits" and a incredible woman in 24 hours. The only lesson would be: "screw the rules, fu*k them both". Just kidding. I should have step out from very beginning. I wanted to have a B-Plan and I lost them both.

  • Had that happen to me before, and I was supposed to move on too, but one wouldn't let me. So you know what I did? I cut contact and told her to keep the fuck away from me. You have to just ignore her and cut contact if you do indeed want to move on.