I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy. I have many principles that I hold dear to. Is it hard to find a partner/girl that believe in old-school beliefs?

Recently, my girlfriend showed me a photo she took of a mutual friend of ours. Our colleague.

He loves not wearing any underpants and go naked while we change out in our workplace (kitchen). She took a photo of his naked body from the back, and showed it to me, thinking I'll be amused by it. I clearly wasn't.

My response disappointed her and made her mad. I was not pleased that she did that. Don't get me wrong. If it was anyone else that showed me the photo, I would have found it hilarious.

Its just the old-fashioned in me that think that, if you are my girlfriend, the last thing on your mind is to tell me how you find other guys that are attractive or cute. It is also indecent for you to even look at a guy who is always naked while he changes out, even though he does it all the time, even though he is a friend, even though it happens all the time, let alone take a photo of it.

Is it so hard to find a girl that holds true to such old-school sort of decency anymore? Is it hard to find people that have any kind of principle that they believe in anymore?

Has everything became such gray-areas, and separated by a thin line, and all it takes is a moment of doubt or a borderline-indecent act to spur infidelity, and there is no more clear cut lines of decency?

I do not believe, "its a modern day" excuse is good enough for me to see how humans have turned into people with no morals, and are easily tempted to turn their backs on people that have given them their heart...


Most Helpful Girl

  • In this day and age with the way people view things, most people would
    consider you old fashion. However, there's nothing wrong with that.
    I know I'm a girl, I but can understand why you didn't consider that funny.
    Me personally, I wouldn't find that funny either. I don't find people taking
    pictures of other naked people to be funny, but everybodies sense of
    humor is different. I also understand how it could be considered disrespectful
    to you for your girlfriend to take a picture of another man. I can understand
    where you're coming from. Remember this, there's many different types of
    humor and some people find things like nudity to be funny. Since you don't,
    you she tell her that it bothers you, so it doesn't happen again. I mean, you
    probably respect her wishes on certain things she doesn't like, she should give
    you the same respect.

    • Well, I do not know if she is the kind that is just very easy-going, but I want to think that I have be considerate in almost all views that might cause her to be uncomfortable, and I am a very respectful person if I choose to be.

      I did tell her right away because she could see my displeasure.
      Nudity is funny, especially when it involves another person, a stranger, and it happens randomly, like he or she will be chased around naked or something, and if we see it, we laugh about it, fine.

      But I will not pull out my camera, video tape a naked lady running around and show it to my gf, thinking she will get the same response. She might find it kinda amusing, but if i think it wouldn't translate entirely as a joke, its just not worth it, risking her being unhappy.

      However, after sometime, I feel that I should just do things to make her feel the pain, and see how she feels about it. Like whats the point of being so considerate and she does not appreciate it.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • yeah just keep your traditions and opinions, its right.
    to answer your Q. no, its not that hard to find a lady as you want.. the r just unseen for men because they r probably less attractive, no sexi clothes,, no breast out as today women have, hahah maybe, u can find them in churches, charity places, i dont now..
    but dont lose your hope... there r many good and nice people who have moral values...

    • I guess its harder to find a good mix, where I want her to know how to separate it proper, like its ok to do indecent things with your man, because after all we are exclusive to one another, but if you think that attitude is ok all round, and doing that to other men or other things, think again, What makes us special as a couple is because there are only certain things that we do for, and treat each other the way we do, and if thats not the case, what makes our relationship special anyway?

    • Show All
    • she was from work.

    • i am sorry, you just had a bad luck.. move on and meet a new better girl

  • Your girlfriend sounds like a lighthearted person. I totally dig her sense of humor. :)

    I think it's becoming more and more difficult to find an "old-fashioned" partner, with every passing decade. But there are definitely matches out there for you, in this regard.

    But are you saying you don't want to be with your girlfriend anymore?

    • I love her to death, I want to be with her. However, we're probably 6 months into knowing each other, and 3 months into a more serious relationship, and I know its still pretty early and its a young relationship. We're both in our LATE 20s.

      She is a light-hearted person, but I feel you can be light hearted in most aspects in your life which does not require you to be serious, but I take this probably more serious than most would, and i hope she will learn how to respect how I think and I will hope to take things less serious around her.

      We are so different though... very different. Sometimes I wonder if its so much harder to love someone so fundamentally different...

    • Show All
    • I did tell her, and we're trying to work things out. She knows our values differ in many ways. And its just conflicting where she has that old-fashion type Korean manners and respect where she shows in public, but she has her American side when it comes to relationship and dismissing many things off as being amusing, or a joke, or why taking it so serious, its all about having fun and being happy, why so uptight. While I'm the opposite, where I try not to give a fug about strangers and care less about how others judge me, but when it comes to people that are closer, it matters more to me.

      If one wants to be light-hearted and carefree, maybe don't go into a relationship

      And I do take offense, she might be better off without me, maybe not, and its not your place to say it.

    • "If one wants to be light-hearted and carefree, maybe don't go into a relationship."

      I would never want to be in a relationship that is not lighthearted and carefree. The good news is, those things are not mutually exclusive with being serious and careful when necessary. Jeses Fucking Christ, lighten up, boy! :D

  • Holier than thou diva alert.

    • ? expand your comments?

What Guys Said 6

  • If she took the picture and showed it to you talking about how she finds him attractive then that is a bit disrespectful. However if she just took it as a joke there's nothing disrespectful or immoral about it. At least towards you anyway, it probably was disrespectful towards the other guy if she took it without his permission.

  • You should test out your belief by the pragmatic maxim, that a belief means whatever it yields, has yield or will yield, or can or would have yielded. Your belief's just putting a wedge into your relationship, let it slide, you already are the most attractive guy to her.

    • But I cannot stop myself from reacting from what I feel, and it shows right away that I was not cool with that.

      What is pragmatic maxim?

      I almost want to tell her that I cannot date a girl that is so loose in terms of such beliefs. I think it is indecent to look at a girl naked, unless she is my girl, and I'm talking about a real girl real life, not pornography.

      I have problems with infidelity, therefore my problem with this situation.

    • Your problems are just going to put you at a disadvantage, good beliefs put you at an advantage. It's not consequentalist thinking really, but you have to really use things that are useful. The pragmatic maxim is how I described it earlier. I can't help you beyond this, I think it's dramatic and unnecessary.

  • Seems we have some things in common. And yes it is very difficult to find a partner because girls don't like guys like us. Even if we find someone it is unlikely that it will last long. By long lets say... one year.

  • I am equally disgusted with how these so-called "humans" conduct themselves. No class. No morals.

  • Most women are whores and most guys are pussys these days. Welcome to 21st century America.

  • you should have existed in 1940s to be honest, you gotta adapt to the world

    • i cannot help myself from feeling this way. Even when I told her about it, we kinda resolved it, now talking about it makes me so mad right now... like being a decent person while you have a partner is so hard. you have to borderline be sexual and indecent about everything...

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