Is he really interested or just playing it cool?

I've been hanging out with this guy for a couple of months now. We haven't stated anything about dating exclusively. I know that he is interested because he got jealous when he thought I might be on a date with another guy. But usually when I date guys at the beginning they are really interested and want to text and call me all the time and spend all their weekends with me. This guy will spend one day with me and I probably won't see him till the following weekend. I'm not saying we have to be attached at the hip and not have our own lives but he has stated he really wants a relationship and to do different things with me but yet acts so nonchalantly when I ask him what he is upto. For example: We spent Friday night together hanging out and he told me he had no plans on Saturday would just probably spend it at home relaxing. I told him if he's bored and wants company (He always has friends going in and out of his place so I guess he's never really that bored) but if he wants to let me know and we can hang out again. Maybe I've been dating certain type of men who get really excited about me at the beginning but this one is so laid back I don't know if he's really interested and just trying to control himself or have me chase him or maybe he's just not as interested as he said he was. What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not wasting your time and you don't have to chase. You just have to date someone else as well and make sure he knows, preferably when he wants to make plans and you're not available. You're not trying to make him jealous. You're just letting him know that he's not the only game in town and if he wants your to be just his, he has to man up. I suspect it'll only take a dose or two of that and he'll engage more.

    • Thanks for selecting my opinion Most Helpful. How's it going with him?

    • Well we ended up going out a couple more times and they went well. This past Friday I even talked to him again about his reaction to me dating someone else and asked him if it bothers him I'm dating someone else. He said no he's okay with me dating someone else. I said to him if he wanted me to be exclusive I would consider it cause I like him and he stated he really likes me. But he didn't take me up on the offer. Now when I tell a guy it's okay for him to date other people it usually means I think they're cool but not really sure how I feel about them and really don't care if they date someone else. But after two months of talking to this guy I figure he would want to be a little more exclusive if he was really as interested as he claims. I'm just trying to figure him out... he's claimed he's wanted to take me somewhere nice for dinner or whatever but so far we just go dutch. Seems like he gets the benefits of me with out the commitment.

    • I think he's a commitment-phobe. I'd just go on with your life. If he asks you out, be busy a time or two. If he's nearly as interested as you are, he'll get the message. If he's not, keep calm and carry on.

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  • I don't know that you have a problem


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