Am I stupid to wait for a guy that might or might not want me?

I've been dating someone for the last year and he's made it clear that he's not sure we have a future. I've made it clear that I'm looking for marriage and a family. Am I stupid for waiting for him? Can I assume that it's never going to happen with him?

I'm turning down dates with really nice guys that I could have a future with potentially because I want him to want to be with me.

I don't want to date him and other people at the same time.

What do you guys think? Should I continue to wait for him and turn down other guys? Or end things with him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That you have a goal is great. That you are deliberately undermining your own attainment of your goal is perplexing.

    What is it you're waiting for? For him to suddenly have the same goal you have? I never advise people to end relationships, but for you, I'll make an exception.

    • I want him to feel the same way and see me in his future. Do you think that's never going to happen for us?

    • You seem to expect it to happen, based on no reason whatsoever. He's dating a woman he doesn't believe he has a future with. Would you date a man if you didn't believe you had a future with him? I suspect not, because your goal is a marriage and family. What does that say about his goals?

    • I know. You're right. I'm just fooling myself in thinking there's any chance for us

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yea, it is. You're only setting yourself up for heartbreak with that situation. I hate when women think they can miraculously change a man. He's told you he wants no future with you, yet you're holding on, waiting for what? While your're turning down potentially good guys who could have the same future goals as you. That behavior just seems really self destructive.

    • He said he doesn't know for sure and that's giving me hope that maybe he'll change his mind.

      But I know in my head that's not going to happen. I just wish my heart knew that :(

    • People's logic tends to go out of the door when love comes to play. I know you love him, but you should do what's best for yourself and your future

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Guys are not that hard to read. We will do or say anything to try to prevent to hurt women's feelings, but if he decided to be honest with you by saying he wasn't sure where your relationship is headed then that is what it means. The best thing to do is to give yourself some options, go out and meet people. If you made up your mind on having a set life then you have to search for it. The last thing you want is to waste years of your life on waiting for someone that might not be the one. Good luck.

    • You don't think it's possible that he might have a change of heart?

    • He might but it's probably best for him to realize it on his own and not force anything

What Girls Said 2

  • Do NOT turn down dates with other guys. End it. You don't want the same things. Sucks, but you'll move on.

  • If your really interested in the boy then its worth the wait, but if he gives you doubts then end it.