Asked a girl out, been friends for almost 2 years, she said yes, she couldn't do the scheduled date, tried to reschedule, she stopped communicating?

So I've been friends with this girl for almost 2 years now and never really liked her until recently (last few months). We hang out in person all the time (biking, movies, the pool, the mall, cooking etc) and so I decided that since we were getting close that I'd try asking her out. Every single person that knew both of us would always ask me if we were going out and then proceed to tell me I should ask. So we're definitely a pretty good match. We have almost everything in common and can hold a conversation all the way through out hangouts. I don't text her too much either.

So I asked her out Friday after going on a short day trip and she said yes. We say lets go monday, but she says she'll let me know if she can do monday.

The next day we had already planned to hang out so we do so anyways. I try to talk about the date planned for Monday but she just says yea ill let you know if i can.

She ends up telling me the day of that she cant. Tuesday and Thursday she already has stuff planned with her family (info i knew about before asking her) so we can't do those days either. So I ask would Wednesday be better, she says she's babysitting (shes been babysitting the whole summer, so not made up) and 7:30 would be too late of a date... I then say ok I understand, how about this weekend? and after that she hasn't replied. in over 24 hrs.

Today I see her and say how is the family event going today, and to two questions I give her she gives me a one word reply...

To my knowledge she has never had a boyfriend nor been asked out before so she could be nervous and unsure of what to do or she could have already friendzoned me and not find me interesting. I take it its a bad sign that she has not texted back in over 24hrs (she has definitely had the free time to do so and her phone is not broken). What do I do? Have I just ended my friendship with her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm still newish to G@G, but this has to be the fourteenth+ story I've read like this. This is exactly why I believe hetero guys and girls should not be friends. Or at the very least should not entertain the idea of being/becoming close friends.

    Yeah man, she's not interested in being more than just friends with you homie. When you pushed that line you pushed her away. BUUUUuuuuuuut, it had to be done. If you really like (d) her, then you had no other choice but to suffer in silence or speak up. I think you did the right thing. At least now you know for sure dude. Your specific situation is a bit different as you say she hasn't ever had a boyfriend. So could she be nervous, yes if she were interested. But if she was she'd still make it happen. Her actions thus far definitely fall in line with Friend-Zone.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she is feeling hesitant about moving things to the next level. I don't know if it's because she only sees you as a friend or if she is nervous.

    • I really hope you're right, that she's even considering moving to the next level and is just really nervous. Because if she just wanted to stay friends I don't know why she wouldn't just tell me straight up, especially since i explicitly told her that I would be completely cool if she just wants to stay friends and wouldn't be mad and would understand her decision. So IF she friend-zoned me then she either 1) will tell me but is too nervous that ill be sad etc, but i told her id be cool with a no 2) she's too nice to tell me, but again told her id be cool with a no 3) she thinks there's no repairing our super close friendship and has just jumped ship...

      So I'm feeling there's a slightly ever so small chance that she could be contemplating going out with me and is just super nervous to make the decision. I don't know I'm really confused why she isn't communicating back with me at all so suddenly. Thanks!

    • I will warn you that if she does not like you that way she may feel awkward being friends after that even if you say you are cool about it, because it's just uncomfortable knowing that this person wants to see you naked and has all these feelings for you and you don't see him that way.

    • Okay thats actually a really good point that I missed. I mean it would definitely be awkward at first but other people always say that it goes away. But yea even though I told her I'd be completely cool with her saying no, she might see it as weird to become friends again now that she knows I like her. Although I'd like to think that I came across as saying that we should "try to date" (didnt say that) but as thought the thought just occurred to me and it would be cool to try. Either way you are definitely right that she could be feeling that way

What Guys Said 1

  • You've probably just been friend-zoned! Ouch. It sounds like she's just cut you off completely. My advice is - dust yourself off and walk away. Don't think you can correct that situation. Being friend-zoned ain't fun and can put you off dating for good, moving on very quickly may be a good idea.

    • To both Socal1 and AceOtana1 yea I'm feeling like I've been friend-zoned for sure, but would she really go so far as to cut me off completely? we've been friends for 2 years of which have been almost always one on one... I let her know that if she didn't want to that I'd be completely fine with her decision but she has not responded still. Feel like i just lost my best friend, this really sucks... I definitely think that it was a good decision to ask her out regardless because now i know at least. I'll probably have to walk away from this yes. I just don't understand why she wouldn't tell me that she just wants to remain friends rather than to cut off communication all of a sudden, we were literally hanging out all day like 6 days ago... F. Should have asked her sooner. I guess she has taught me the future pain that I'll endure from not asking out a girl soon enough. I just hope I dont compare future girls to her. Thanks for the feedback!