Why am I still dwelling on this situation?

I dated a guy for months and we decided to still be friends, we had great dates and the chemistry was there all along but for some reason he pulled away and after a few weeks i had the courage to ask him why he wasn't showing interest anymore. He told me he isn't looking for anything serious because he doesn't have the time for it.
This was in april, and he did live in another town , he has now moved to my town and he just finished a five week travel in Asia, and he did travel a lot because of school organization etc. He also got of a really long relationship last year.
So why am i stll dwelling on him? I feel like he didn't think i was worthy enough.. even though he was the one who was so into me and wanted to date me etc. I was very careless to begin with,


Most Helpful Girl

  • Now that 'He has now moved to my town,' it's drumming up old memories, it's getting you thinking, and Perhaps has even occurred to you----Maybe I could give it One more shot.
    I believe it is Bothering you about how things ended, and Feeling the way You do, you never found closure with someone who 'Pulled away' because he didn't want anything heavy, due to a "Really long relationship last year.'
    You're never going to Stop 'Dwelling on him' unless you Contact him and ask him cheerily, nonchalantly, if he would like to hang out sometime? Make a fresh start, Don't be 'Very careless this time,' and tell him that being he is living in the same town as you, maybe it would be Great for old friends to get together and catch up.
    See what he says. It's either going to be a Yay or a Nay or a 'Polite pulling away,' but at least you would have Some peace of mind to find out if it was 'Worthy enough' to have Continued. Find out just 'How much time' he has now...
    No, I don't believe it had anything to do with you being 'Worthy enough,' it was just a Question that he was growing Cold duck feet and didn't want to be hooked at the hip again so soon after being birds of a feather with another.
    It's just a shot in the dark, of course, but something I believe you Might be flapping your wings over now that he's a stone's throw.
    Good luck. xx

    • But i think if he did want to meet me he would contact me on his own, he got back from his long vacation today i think, i dont think i will contact him, at the same time i want to get over him and move on, but if he does contact me i would meet him

    • Yes, but maybe he thinks you Might Still be the Same Way as before and that's Why he has Not contacted you... If you are still dwelling on him you probably still like him. Yes, I would say move on if Already Again you were shot down.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He probably had enough of relationships, considering his long term relationship ended, he probably needed a long break from it all. Also, he may of fancied you before, but he probably doesn't now. Feelings can change in a short period of time. He may not be into you anymore. If that's the case, you may have to accept this and move on.

    • I know i just have to move on, he is still friendly. said happy birthday and likes events on fcb etc but ye your right

What Girls Said 1

  • Long relationships take time to move on from, maybe he still has feelings for that other person? Maybe he wants to just focus on his career? What ever it is you can just ask him face to face and get some closure. It might help you move on a little bit at a time. Just focus on you, not him. If he really wanted something serious you wouldn't be feeling like this and you shouldn't. Stay strong and smile (:

    • You are very right, and I've been focusing on myself cause honestly its what he has been doing, and i can see he is trying to mend, his ex is pregnant also with another guy, and he did tell me he has a lot going on so i just got to run my own race.

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    • But i also kind of do the same, when things got a bit serious and he told me liked me etc, i felt like " omg i can't do this im not ready for anything serious" i was getting feelings for him and i didn't want to because i wanted to only focus on me, work, school and not be all into someone else, and now I've been talking to a new guy and I've been ignoring him because im not ready for anything and i dont want to lead him on

    • That is a normal reaction when you have so much going on that seems to be a little more important than a man.. but I think you need to sleep on it and think if you are ready for a serious relationship, to make it work you have to be committed and have the time for it and not brush it off. It's also good that you are not leading this new guy on but I think you should tell him you're not interested in being in a relationship because you don't want to play the same card and do to him what the other guy did to you.