How to make sure a guy is genuinely very interested in me?

I'm very new to dating and the guy I am seeing confuses me. I'm a shy, inexperienced girl while he is more outgoing, flirty, and experienced with women.

He seems to care, but I don't know if I'm being stupid.

He does seem to go out of his way to make a lot of time for me, including long drives, texts, and phone calls.

He also seems to be concerned if I am unhappy or stressed. He seems to worry and tries to find a resolution and offer me advice.

He does ask me a lot of questions about me that seem like he wants to get to know me. Goals, family, interests, etc.

He said he would like to spoil me because I'm a nice girl that doesn't expect much. He likes buying me sweets and food.

He will always ask me if I'm happy with him, and he did tell me he enjoys making me happy.

He also told me that he is very physically attracted to me and that he feels an emotional connection with me. We were just cuddling when he said this, but he says this a lot.

The thing that confuses me is the physical nature of our relationship. He knows I'm not having sex anytime soon, but he likes to touch me and kiss me a lot.

I'm okay with hand holding and waist holding and things like that, but he also likes to grab my butt and touch my breasts a lot. He also likes for me to put my hand on his crotch area.

Right now is a bad time for a relationship for both of us so he thinks we should hold off on being official and just continue to see each other.

He said he wouldn't be likely to see anyone else, just because he is very busy. But he would want me to date someone else I met if I felt they were a better fit for me.

He does talk about us like boyfriend and girlfriend though. On our second date he told me I'm like someone who he would want to date seriously.

He got me an incredibly thoughtful birthday gift, and has referred to himself as the man in the relationship before.

I just don't know what to make of his mixed signals. Is he actually into me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is. He just feels he isn't right for you. From the constant need for reassurance of your happiness it seems like he's building an emotional barrier between you and his feelings for you because he thinks you will leave him. That's why he tells you it's ok if you find someone else. Because he thinks it's gonna happen anyways so why waste time. If you care about him. Let him know. He obviously cares about you. If you don't feel strongly towards him maybe friends is the way to go. He may have an outgoing personality but judging by his demeanor you've described he hasn't dated very much either. So just figure out what you want and what makes you happy. If its not him then its best to move on before it gets too hard for both of you. Good luck with everything. I really hope things work out for you.

    • He's dated a lot though. He's really experienced with girls. I do kind of get the idea he doesn't think he is good enough for me because of the things he has done before with girls.

      He says he doesn't regret anytbing but he feels like I wouldn't like him if I knew everything.

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    • He has told me about his exes in decent detail though. I don't think he's making it up. From body language and the way he talks he seems quite experienced to me, especially in how much physical attention he gives me

    • He's told me he has had to think more with me than previous girls and that it makes him a little nervous

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What Guys Said 3

  • You two spend a lot of time together having deep conversations, kissing, cuddling, and fondling. That is to say, you two are in a relationship, except that you are not, and the reason you are not is because... you are? That makes no sense. Look, if a man spends a lot of time with a woman and puts significant effort into coming up with sweet things to tell her, yet he does not jump at the opportunity of having a relationship with her, then that is a warning sign that something is seriously amiss.

    • Hmm okay. I talked to him about it and he said that he agrees we act like a couple. He said he wouldn't see anyone else and he has said that he would want to be in a relationship with me.

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    • Okay, thanks for the reality check. I'm just new to this stuff. What do you think I should do?

    • Find a man who will step up and make you his woman.

  • I think he treats you like a casual hook up, being exclusive is another matter. If you're comfortable with his presence, why don't you bring up the matter and see how's his reaction?
    One thing, he likes you touch you and kiss you a lot. which means he sees sex as an important matter, and you say YOU'RE NOT HAVING SEX ANYTIME SOON, what does that tell me if i were him? It says you're trying to holding back your emotion by not being genuinely yourself. I know you're attracted to me, but you're not ready for sex.
    I would just walk away if I were him, dating should be easy and effortless.

    • If you would walk away from a woman because she will not rush to spread her legs for you, then it would be a good thing for her to keep her legs shut and make you walk.

    • Yes. because I'm standing up for myself. I wouldn't tolerate someone who holds back his/her emotions because of some bullshit excuses. That's not genuine interaction.

    • I'm being myself. I'm not putting up any kind of front. I don't get how you can say I'm not being genuine when you have no idea what the real me is like!

  • Save yourself for marriage. That will repel any guys who just want sex.

    • I told him I am. And I really do want to wait until marriage. He's still showing interest in me.

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    • The tough thing is that I can tell he really wants it. I'm sure he's just being a guy, but a respectful one.

      He tried asking for nudes and a handjob basically in a kind of casual way and saw that it kind of freaked me out and apologized for coming off as pressuring me, which I think is good

    • The main thing is that he respects you as a person and is not just with you for sex.

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