Boys- what is the right way for a girl to initiate she wants a relationship with a guy?

I really am stuck because I really want to tell him how I feel but I'm not sure how, I'm also terrified of rejection. I just think if he knew how I really felt he would understand that I really do truly care only for him.



Most Helpful Guy

  • If you lay everyone on the table all at once, then you could scare him off, since guys aren't used to girls doing that kind of thing.

    Instead of doing that, use small gestures to indicate romantic interest. For example, sit down next to him and then let him see you scoot your chair over toward him a little bit. If you want to look at something he's looking at, try to put your hand on his shoulder. Just drop hints here and there. It may take him a while to figure out that your small actions are hinting at romantic interest.

    When he realizes that you are hinting at that, he will decide on whether he wants to pursue you. If he decides not to, then he will let you down gently. If he decides to pursue, then he could try to do this in one of two ways. He could try to rush in for a kiss. If he tries that, pull your head back so he does not succeed. Use a kind and flirty voice to say something like, "Nuh-uh! You've got to take me out on dates like a lady!"

    Do not let him have any affection of any kind until he has taken you out on dates and asked you to be his girlfriend. At that point, you can start getting affectionate, but still hold off on sexual activities for at least six months. Make him prove that he is committed to having a long-term relationship with you before you consider putting sexual activities on the table. This way, if he was not all that serious about a relationship and was just trying to get an easy lay, he will fail, but if he is serious about a relationship, then you can then decide to do whatever you want with him (assuming that he consents, of course).

    Hope this helps :)

    • I spent all that time typing and then you add an update to say that all my typing was pointless. (sigh) Look, he lives two hours away. That relationship is almost certainly not going to work out. You would do better to pursue someone else.

    • MY TYPE IS GEOGRAPHICALLY UNAVAILABLE AND HE SAID HE DOESN'T MIND THE DISTANCE : I'm in a pickle this is just so complicated to even begin to explain I just really dig him man

    • gave you most helpful :* because I really do appreciate your input and you helped clarify a few issues for me

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What Guys Said 6

  • Welcome to our world; rejection is part of life. If you really like him and feel comfortable around him, you shouldn't have to force yourself, just let him know.

    • It's hard because he lives 2 hours away and don't see eachother often so texting is very impersonal and I rather just look into his eyes and tell him I want him

  • You could tell him straight up in a convo, and be in the awkward phase then be friends again, or hint that you want him to ask you out, and if he gets it then good for u. If the hints are obvious then be ready for it if he's interested if he's not then I'm afraid he thinks of you as a good friend.

    • He's mentioned how he has a problem with commitment because of his hurt past

    • Ah. Hmmm. Then don't push for him asking you out. In all sense, you should still tell him how you feel, however when it is comfortable for both of you. but tell him, you just wanted to tell him, since you do understand how he has a hurt past. It may get awkward after, but still talk to him, and talk regularly as if this never happened. It's better to tell him then regretting not too. Also don't have to take my advice, I am under 18. So just be careful how you do it. Good luck and may it work for both of you

  • Get his attention, long enough until he gets the ''balls'' to ask. It's the safest way.

    • What kind of attention?

    • Mix it out, to see what he's looking for. If you can't get a meaningful response from him, then really consider moving on.

  • Make sure to make light contact with him (lightly grabbing his arm) and look into his eyes. Guys aren't the best at picking up subtleties BUT he should be able to notice this.

  • just ask him and tell him how you feel, im sure you know what to do, if he's a good guy he'll love you, have you ever been rejected? if not than what are you so worried about? guys are rejected and ignored by girls so guys are more scared of rejection more than a girl, and risk it more, girls dont usually get rejected because girls are loved soo much

    • Been rejected. I usually get over it quick, but this guy I just feel that there's something amazing waiting to happen. It's just that I kinda slipped up and he's been wary about letting me in. He's being more guarded now. I just want him to know that I only have eyes for him and I'm willing to do what it takes to make my wrong into something right and beautiful.

    • good than show him and tell him how you feel like i said above

  • How well do you two know each other?

    Keep throwing non verbal signals at him to show interest.

    • Through a friend.
      and what kind of verbal signals?

    • Show All
    • and we text everyday and facetime whenever we have the time

    • I see. Did he kiss you? When you two were together did he seem interested?

What Girls Said 2

  • Usually the best thing to do is to talk about it and be honest (no games). The rest really depends from what your situation with this guy is? Are you friends, dating or FWB?

    • right now i believe we are "friends who are attracted to each other"

    • Ah, that´s easy then. Kiss him :)

  • Do what you want. Who cares what we think. If you want to ask a guy ask him out. If he dislikes it. Then he's not the right one for you.
    Females can do almost anything guys can do.

    • I want to do it but I need to chill because he's putting up a wall and it's going to take time to bring it down.

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