I have never had a girlfriend and have been suffering major depression for about two years now for a lot of reasons. Within the past year I have become incredibly self-concious and starting hating myself. This all started after I tried online dating, had no luck at all, and eventually sought validation out of curiosity of what girls thought on another site. This was a huge mistake on my part because I haven't even felt like the same person since. There were so many cute girls over the course of months that I posted (It was a vicious, terrible feedback loop) that would call me ugly, unotticable, weird looking or plain and dull. Other girls said I looked genuinely creepy, particularly my eyes. Others said I looked too young, but the common phrase was "you are not my type." They would say this to me, but they seemed to have a wide range of what they found attractive because they were liking all sorts of different guys on there. I actually post here a lot now too. I'm caught in this validation seeking behavior and I really wish I knew how to handle it. I used to not care about being alone, I thought things would change, but they never did and I became so worried.
This is me: https://imgur.com/a/PJli7
It all comes down to me being extremely lonely. All of my friends don't have time for me anymore because they spend most of their time with their girlfriends. Weekends are terrible for me, I usually just stay in my room and do nothing so I don't really have much to distract me from self-deprecating thoughts. Every time I see a girl that I like, I'm afraid to talk to her and worry that she, like so many, will find me creepy or weird looking too. I know for a fact that looks matter to everyone. What should I do? All of my good inner traits are being masked by this self hate.
Plenty of girls on THIS SITE have said I look fine but I end up doubting it and think it's just people being nice. I'm sure that's not true but I'm so confused why girls in real life ignore me.
Most Helpful Girl
Alright I've noticed you asking a lot of these types of questions recently and I think the problem is you really need a new outlook on yourself. If you don't like yourself, people can sense that insecurity. I know because I've been through it myself. I'm 19 and people tell me I'm pretty, cute, etc. yet I've never had a boyfriend or even been asked out. I was extremely shy and insecure in high school, but now that I'm getting over that, I've slowly been making progress with boys. Like tiny baby steps. You just have to change your thoughts. It truly matters what you think about yourself. Every time you start thinking something negative about yourself, turn it around and tell yourself the opposite.
Are you in college? If so, find what you're good at/enjoy and get involved with other people who like the same things. Join clubs and organizations that interest you. Just close your computer and go do what you love and meet people and enjoy life! It's too short to be spent alone, questioning everything about yourself. And along the way, you just might meet a girl who loves you for who you are.0
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