Did this girl lie to me about not wanting to date?

I've known this girl for quite some time and decided to ask her out, she replied with "I'm not ready to date right now". i asked her straight up "Do you mean it? or is that an excuse? Please be honest" and she told me she means it. Fair enough

A week later on Okcupid (i do a lot of online dating) i noticed she had a profile up! I had a friend who i told about Okcupid, message her. She doesn't know my friend is my friend.

They started talking a bit and i told my friend to ask her what she's looking for, she said "friends to maybe turn into something more" and later said "im not tryna rush into anything, but if i met the right person i'd date them" and "im looking to get to know somebody to eventually date right now"

So i'm a little confused. Did I not have a chance and she doesn't wanna DATE ME? Or is she looking at all her possible options?

  • yes
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  • no
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  • (other) post what
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This girl is known for being brutally honest and up front, and she's never lied to me. I really want to believe she didn't lie to me to brush me off :/


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm, well usually as bad as it is, girls will sometimes say that they're not interested in dating right now to guys, I've done this before, it's not that we don't like them and value them as people and friends but they're not someone that I'd want to go out on serious dates with etc. But, when you do find someone that makes you change your perspective you go for it. She could be honest about it, but from my experience we say that to not hurt someones feelings, and or because we're kind of interested in looking around some more.

    • Here's the thing im confused about... she actually does like me. i didn't feel like including a length background, but yes she does like me, but im confused about what she's saying and going back on a dating website ya know?

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    • Okay, well that kind of changes things then. I think that perhaps what she's doing is trying to get herself collected first, in this situation then, if she really is important to you, just take it really easy and slowly, I guess you just have to kind of ease in, continue to try then asking her to hang out, but let her know that you genuinely care about her and want to spend time together, the only thing you can do then is be persistent but gentle. Thanks for the info it actually does make a difference. Just let her know that you can and could be her safety, or safe space get it? Anyways, good luck and do what you think is right.

    • Well the main thing im curious about is why did she tell me she can't date right now, told me she's telling the truth that she can't date right now, then later on goes back on a dating site?

      like i said, i asked her if she's brushing me off she said no.

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What Girls Said 2

  • From what she told you and from what she told your friend she isn't interested in dating at the moment. But if an amazing person came her way she's open to considering it. It means that she's just looking for something causual or friendly at the moment and not for an exclusive Commitment.

  • You sound like a stalker for having your friend message her. And clearly she said a friend slowly turning into something more. Therefore not a relationship now but in the far future one with a person she truly cares for in that matter.

    • How is that being a stalker?

    • You have your friend act as if he's interested because she told you she wasn't and you don't like that she's on a dating site. If she didn't want to be with you she didn't so don't have your friend act as if he's interested when he isn't. It actually would hurt her feelings if she does end up interested in him and he never cared only talked to her because you wanted him to since she rejected you.

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