When a shy guy gets a call from a girl he likes, what are some things he wants to hear her say?

I'm totally smitten with him but he is also really shy. I send him messages like every few weeks to say hi and flirt a little and he always answers but never asks me out. I want things to move forward so I can get to know him but I don't know how to go about it. Especially when I can't get a date with him!

The one thing I haven't tried is calling him on the phone for a chat but I don't have anything whatsoever to say. Can anyone give me any ideas as to what a good reason for a random call would be?

Please HELP! I'm totally hooked and don't know a thing about shy guys! Thanks:)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume the guy likes you "that way" but becomes overwhelmed by shyness, which leaves the moves up to you. I also assume that you know a bit about him. You understand the importance of facial expression with smiles and eye contact (not the fixed gaze and smile, but appropriate).

    Make a list of things to start a conversation. You know what interests him, so that's a starting point. Limit what you reveal about yourself in conversation to avoid things too personal and say nothing offensive or opinionated about politics and so forth. When you speak to him, just make light talk and avoid peppering him with questions. If you must ask a question, make sure he already knows the answer, which will make him feel--well, like he knows a thing or two. Once you start thinking of what you want to tell him, you will surprise yourself how loquacious you really are.

    Call him to ask for his opinion on something he knows about. You need his help about something. Tell him you want to go somewhere but don't want to go alone (meaning, of course, that he should accompany you). But really, if he is likewise interested in you, just your female voice will turn him on and he will be happy to hear it. That you call him at all should be enough to kickstart a romance, he will be so flattered. If you invited him to attend some event you are sure would interest him, of course he would accept.

    Try to avoid direct questions, but when he talks about himself say oooh, uh huh, ummm, ahh, and so forth. Avoid saying anything cross, unpleasant, or complaining. Avoid saying no (but uhhhh is okay). If you actually go out with him, grab his hand and hold it whenever you may. Always stand or sit closely to him, rub shoulders. Smell good. Wear a tiny bit of red.

    What I say here is only guideline because behavior cannot always be predicted. Use your creativity and spontaneity when the opportunity occurs.

    • I called him and left a message for him to call me back. Will he call me back or will he be too shy?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him you really like him.

  • If he is really shy, then he will be more reactive and passive than proactive aggressive, therefor, you may want to consider cutting to the chase by asking him to hang. Otherwise, you may be in a long, long wait before he is comfortable enough with you to ask you out.

    However, if you insist on knowing him more prior to, then my feeling is that calling him regularly will be best. The more he converses with you, the more comfortable he will become with you.

    Talk? Remember, he is shy, so he prefers to listen as oppose to talk. Thus, be prepared to lead. You do not need an excuse, you like the guy, and he likes you. That's a good enough of reason, if I do say so myself. Nevertheless, make basic small talk in reference to both of your days and such, then allow the answers to guide the conversation.

    • I am nervous.. Since he likes me will he allow the conversation to keep going even if I shudder or there is a moment of silence?

    • I called and left a message! Will he call me back? Or will I have to do that too? lol :P

    • He will allow the conversation to continue, even if there are moments of silence. He likes you. I mean, most people, including shy people, enjoy speaking/interacting with others who they have a romantic interest in.

      I believe he will. It make take a while though, given his shyness and such. But if he doesn't, don't take it personal. Call him back. Many shy people are, again, very self-conscious and reactive. Thus, they tend to avoid initiating situations that will likely expose their shortcomings.

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