Do people start developing other traits when there aren't many options?

I'm starting to find out that this generally happens to not only men but women too. Many times this can be good but it doesn't take away that you didn't choose this as the first option but rather because that's the only one and you just happen to be good at it. This is my case:

For the longest, I always remembered being known as the quiet, reserved girl with very few friends who did well in school. The truth is that from 4th-8th grade, I was picked (verbally and emotionally; though it was way lesser in 8th grade but still) on nearly every single day by mainly girls and a couple guys. I already had been called ugly a bunch of time that I lost count or them getting away from me as if I had germs. Only had 2 female friends in 8th grade that I could at least talk to.

9-12th grade: Though I wasn't picked on anymore, I was still the invisble girl hardly anyone would notice and yes still with very few friends.

I'm now 27 and still fit the description of a reserved woman that seldomly ever goes out, hardly have any friends now and off course low past history regarding bfs (only had 1). Not sure how I would have turn out if I had never been picked on and could make friends easily. I've wondered sometimes how I would have turned out if I haven't been picked on and could make friends easily or been invited to parties more often.

I've already been called kind and hard working and while all this is good, once again it was never my choice to have few friends and not be invited (very few) that much.
And the few friends I had were usually either unattractive, reserved or had weird traits. I wanted to have other friends and be cool with the popular girls but that wans't an option. They didn't want me but it's like I had no choice but to befriend


Most Helpful Guy

  • And where do girls like you go man-hunting?

    Because, yeah.

    • I'm still in college. Took a break for a while but got back and only got 1 year left to finish. Hopefully I'll have no time to meet people once I'm done with college. I met my then bf through myspace. com at the time (now Facebook took over). I'll be going to book stores more often when I get a chance to, definitely not in clubs.

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    • Even though I'm an involuntary introvert. Many people in my family confused me for a voluntary introvert and think I've chosen this. Oh well, I guess it has it's positive qualities in the fact that I don't have to deal with drama or jealous friends.

    • There are advantages to having a small friends circle.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You were young when that happened, young people can be stupid at times, I was on both the receiving end and the person bullying and neither felt good, I did apologize to the guy some time in the future though, we're pals now and hang out regularly, he's a great dude now that I've got to know him. I'm not proud of what I did though.

    Anyway, the whole point is that you should disregard everything that they said, it does not define who you are as a person, go out and meet new people, make someone go with you even if you have to, hang out with them and just have a good time. Even if you are with your friends, nothing can stop you from going up to a stranger and striking up a conversation with them, just practice is even if it feels awkward.

    • What they said it's long forgotten but what has remained within me is my inability to make friends easily. Deep down, I really wish I would have at least a regular social life, where I get to go out every weekend instead of rarely ever getting called and invited.

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    • Ok, will try that again. I did it last time at my old workplace and once again, it turned out to be a short-lived friendship and never didn't get past acquaintance level. Well we did went to the movies once but that was like 3 years ago. I gave up then.

    • Yeah definitely! Keep trying. :) All the best!

  • Yes your circumstances growing up have a big impact on how you behave later in life. This is most obvious in the case of bullying.

    • True and till this way I have a hard time making new friends. It's harder making new friends during your later adult years. I'm not really lingering about those years getting bullied and actually would be happy to be their friends if they were to request me on Facebook (actually one has and we chat at times) as long as I'm seeing they've moved on past their childish stage. If they were to right now start something with me, I'll now send them to hell.
      I just simply can't keep conversations lasting for years, sometimes run out of things to say or can be saying too much about previous topics. I think I can be boring some people too.

    • I really described myself as an involuntary introvert.

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