Whats going on? This guy is clearly into me, yet he is going on other dates?

Stats: Guy i work with (both of us mid 20s) he is leaving the company soon. We have also been friends for 4 years.

We contact each other a lot. we play a game where we send each other a word of the day, and funny pictures.

We know each others friends very well. (he does not have a similar relationship with anyone else at the work).

He went on a date last night and i heard he kissed her (he did not mention to me about the date but told everyone else/normally he does not disclose this stuff at work).

before this the dynamic in our friendship had changed. Over the last 6 months there has been obvious flirting, signs of jealousy etc on both sides (Mutual Work friends have pointed it out to me, who know that i like him).

he gives you more one-on-one attention than others during group gatherings, he suggests that the two of us hang out together by ourselves yet seems disappointed when i don't.
he seems disappointed when i don't remember things i tell him about his past. he also seemed disappointed that we would not cross paths at work this week before he left on his short trip. A friend of his asked a year ago if i liked him.

Also he is always touching me at work.

What seems to be going on here.

He is not the type to be a player i know him well, so is it a matter of he's given up waiting for me to make a move? i am not an obvious flirt but my friends have said lately it seems like it.

He has invited me out for drinks a few times. We are getting drinks together next week when he returns from a business trip?

The guy went with a fellow female worker to the bank.(She knows how i feel about the guy). As a joke the female said, "this is our first outting together just like a date"
The guy said "Don't tell Lauren, she will get jealous" she changed the topic.
what does that update mean, 1) he knows i am keen2) he is fishing to find out if i am keen as he is not 100% sure yet 3) he's not keen and is making fun of me (As if he were keen why would he go on dates this week knowing the feeling could be mutual)
So i am fairly sure now that this guy was either a) never interested in me or b) is so desperate for a GF that he jumped at the first OBVIOUS opportunity.
I looked back over the last couple of years and noticed a trend.
In between casually dating he gives me more attention by messages, flirting and implying. Since the date with this girl i have only heard from him once, and it was in relation to work. The one time i saw him at work in two weeks he was very touchy


Most Helpful Girl

  • So what's your question? If you're wondering what his problem is it sounds like he's starting to think you're not as in to him as he is in you - since being disappointed you can't remember certain things about him that anyone with as much interest in someone would. Therefore, he's testing you to see the kind of reaction you give in an attempt to figure out how you really feel about him. So if you like this guy and hope to be more than just friends some day, then put more effort into showing him so he will know and not have to resort to such head games.

    • I think i took the the "this will make... jealous" as he was not keen on me?

    • Show All
    • Even when we like someone, we tend to leave our options open until we know the feeling is mutual. So of course he's gonna go on a date if and when the opportunity comes up. And he kissed her, so what. And how do you know this? Because he told you, lol? In that case its possible he was only trying to make you jealous. I mean, he saw her a week ago... has he seen her since? If not it must not have been that good of a kiss. I think you just need to be honest with him in regards to the feelings you have for him.

    • i found out through my confidant that he saw her and kissed her, he went away for business this week so it is likely they may catch up again. But that a is something to think about your first comment there.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Use your words. If you are interested in him, express it. Were I in his place I would feel you were just tolerating expressions of romantic interest. Ambiguity is painful and an alternative will be sought, especially if one recognizes the finite duration of his youth.

    • i know feel a little hesitant to do so, seeing as he is going with someone else and don't want too look like a fool. True it has only been one date though. I just wonder if he was keen on me why would he go looking elsewhere. Part of the trouble has been finding time when we are both off/not working early morning to go out for a drink and get the ball rolling.

  • If he's single and you aren't showing him enough interest then you can hardly blame him for pursuing other women. If I like a girl and I'm showing her solid signs of interest and she is not showing them any solid signs or is blowing hot and cold, I just think she's not interested and I move on.


What Girls Said 3

  • I truly believe, with All that I am Reading here, that being he Hasn't been "keen as he is not 100% sure yet," that this is the Real Reason he-----Went on a date last nite.
    And from what I am Also reading, he appears very genuine with his feelings, you both have even gone out a 'few times,' but Nothing has been initiated as to if there Could be More down the road. And even with the co-workers at work involved, everyone can see there is More than meets the eye. There's Definitely a chemistry, and with the flirting and flaunting, you seem to be the apple of his eye.
    Being he is 'leaving the company soon,' I think that there may be More 'Getting drinks together,' for he will be able to Focus More, get to know you More, and a chance to see if there could be------Much more.
    And even if he isn't prepared to Be into a Real relationship at the moment, with a little nurturing and nursing, That could all change too down the line.
    Good luck. xx

  • You should try to go out with him, flirt more, and remember what he says (write it down later if you have to).

  • Well you said your moves aren't obvious enough, so he could've done that to get your attention and make you think that if you don't act soon, he'll find someone else.

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