Where did we go wrong? Is there a place for the traditional guy left in this world?

Why is it that some women, not all, claim they want chivalry but when a guy is chivalrous they take that the wrong way? And say that he's the "nice" guy. Then put him in the friend zone right away. What happened to society? Are some women so brain washed into thinking that the "bad" guy is going to protect them? What I'm saying is why do some women say they want chivalry but act differently and go for the wrong guys? The douchebags. It's no wonder why some guys aren't chivalrous anymore, because we think that all women want a douchebag and that nice guys finish last. Which could be true! Not saying all women are like this but it seems that's the case. Anyway, I'm the chivalrous type because my momma didn't raise no fool. But why don't women seems to want that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • we went wrong with hollywood.

    tv n movies have changed the expectations of women.

    thats why we r all so confused. a lot of people r too afraid to be themselves


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What Girls Said 5

  • Because in the middle of it all, there is still attraction and chemistry that women will decide that trumps any other quality. A girl might like an ass because he reminds her of her celebrity crush for example. He could be a jerk, but her sexual attraction is heightened because she thinks she has him pegged.

    Also, just because a man is chivalrous and nice does not mean he is going to be attractive to a woman. Women don't just go through a door left open for her and become unglued over the act of being nice. There are so many elements of what a woman wants and she decides what is more important than others at the time she's becoming attracted to a man.

    Studies say men are more visual and women are more in tune with feelings. I disagree with this when it comes to raw attraction when two people meet. A woman must like what she sees when she meets a man and takes him on as a potential mate. Even if he's perceived as unattractive to other women, SHE will find an attractiveness that she might find and want to pursue him.

    Women also love the transition of the bad boy softening up and becoming a good guy. And *maybe* with a little help from her love, he will change. This is a power that almost all women look for when they meet the bad boy at first. They stay hoping he'll change, and when they don't, all her friends wonder why she remains with him. Could be because they went further in the relationship and don't want to lose what time they spent together or they even had children together. But women love that thrill of taming the beast. If he's already tame, he should have some defining trait that makes him sexy to her that she'll want in him.

    Women don't just want chivalry, they want a man who is sexy, unique, stands on his own as a macho guy and seems as though he is just fine as a lone wolf in this world. If he's a writer, or a saxophone player, or is an archery champ, she will find his unique qualities sexy because he has something to offer that's different.

  • Seems like you're the one who's been brainwashed. There are multiple factors for why men/women get rejected romantically and sexually.
    -Behaviors/social appropriateness
    -physical/sexual attraction
    -Religious beliefs
    -Social/political ideals beliefs
    -Relationship dynamic beliefs
    -Emotional stability
    -Common interest
    -Common goals/aspirations
    -Mental/physical health
    -Financial stability/responsibility

    and many many more reasons.

    For you to exclude all of those reasons, and pretend that women loathe men who hold open doors, and run vagina's gaping to men who will knock their teeth out is insane.

  • Well... I guess for me, it all went back to my rebellious years. Yes, I wanted to show "them" that I didn't need my family's approval, and I could date whoever looked the other way at me. ESPECIALLY if the family didn't approve.

    I learned the hard way that I was wrong.

    I'm fortunately still pretty young, but have paid the price of wasted time to find out that nice guys finish last because some girls (like me) were rebel children.

    And we have no idea why...

    They say MEN are idiots some times. I'd beg to differ, but at least I've learned my lesson and am now a recovering "bad boy" addict. I'm finally looking for a gentleman.

  • Ever wonder if it's YOU who's going after the wrong girls, rather than the other way around? I'll be blunt, some girls think bad boys are cool and exciting, while nice guys are boring and bland. HOWEVER, not all girls think this way. Search for different types of girls till you find the right one. If you stick with chasing one type of girl, you'll get the same outcome each time. However, different types equals different outcomes. (I'm just generalizing to make my answer more clear lol)

  • bad boys are alpha males and they do protect you and treat you like a princess at first and you think you have the best of both worlds til the first time you get slapped in the face. lol


What Guys Said 3

  • Chivalry is dead bro. Women killed it. Don't ever ask them or listen to what they say they want, look at what they go for instead. The proof is in the pudding on this one.

    You want to open a door for a chick, fine, but do it because it's part of who you are and you would do it for anybody. It's more about how you do things for woman then the thing itself. For instance, when I pull a chair out for a girl, I pat my palm on the top rail with a vibe that says, "you sit here," not demanding but not asking either. If you're going to employ chivalry, do it in a firm manner and not with an approval seeking attitude.

    Women want a challenge, and nice guys are nothing of the sort. Dickheads and a@$holes are naturally challenging. So a lot of girls go for them. But you don't have to be a dick to be a challenge. A healthy alternative would be somewhere in the middle of nice guy and dickhead. A little cocky and funny with indifference will go a long way.

    • ok this is like me saying all men are assholes, you can't just assume that ALL women go for a douche or a challenge as you called it, trust me when I say there are still women out there who love and respect chivalrous guys um me included, thank you very much

    • Not all women, no, but for the purposes of the askers question, "most women" will do just fine. I'm speaking in terms of what is generally the norm. Exceptions like yourself are great when a guy can find them, but in the dating game you gotta play by the rules and never bet on the exception.

  • Traditional manners?

    Or are you a traditional man? Do you stand up for what you believe in? Are you emotionally a rock? Do you project that you'd protect your family? Or do you just have the gentlemanly veneer without the hard core underneath?

  • Be careful. Those thoughts are not too far from those of the shooter in the UCSB massacre.

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