What should I do. . I'm starting to fall for him, but I'm afraid to?

I'm 16 he's 20.. I live in FL and he lives in NY in the future I plan to study In Manhattan. He says that he really likes me. We both made a promise that when I do get to NY we would meet eachother and do everything together and that Is what scares me. But knowing how nieve I am I dont want to fall for him. I had'nt told him that he's my first boyfriend, although It's as if we weren't dating since it's through text. I've told him that I am a virgin. He always wants pictures of me and he gets mad when I don't send anythong at the moment he wants them. I've sent him a couple in my underwear but never nude.. he's sent me pictures of himself without his shirt on (he's so sexy!!)... a few days ago he sent me one of his private part and I got scared and almost threw my phone across the room. I have no friends I can speak to so I'm hoping someone will be nice enough to treat me like a sister in this situation.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's being pushy and I wonder if he's done this before with other girls (given that he's 20 and this is the age of the internet where all it seems anyone does is chat and send pictures instead of actually being together). His behaviour indicates that he seemed to have no problem doing this as if it's been done before. I also think it's rude to send you a picture of his penis when you've already told him you're a virgin, which most guys would want to respect and tread lightly with you, than push the idea and send you a picture of themselves. Guys don't get that women don't want to see pictures of penises the way they want to see pictures of boobs. They just think they'll send something that we want to see, and it's almost always wrong. Wrong timing, wrong girl. And the fact he's getting angry when you don't send a picture when he snaps his fingers is an indicator that he's not giving you respect or time to do what you think is comfortable for you, it's all about him. If you are fine with catering to him and putting up with this sort of attitude, then that's up to you. I know from experience that men like this don't change, they only get worse. Unless you stand your ground and make things clear what you want and it's important that he show you respect, then you have nothing owing to him. Then *maybe* he will realize what he's doing before his learned behaviour carries in to his 20s. By rights he's still young himself, even though he might seem older to you. He likely has little experience with how to really treat a girl and it's showing. If you want to be the person to show him how it's done, it's going to take patience on your end. Good luck! :)

    • I had asked him why he's always asking me for pictures, he said because I'm all his and his only

    • That's not a good reason to send nudes. You can still be in a decent, monogamous relationship and not have to see someone's dick in an iMessage. If he's pressuring you to do what he's doing, it's still unfair. And showing off his penis to you is a bit disrespectful unless you ask to see it. What if he was at your place and whipped it out in front of you to have a look at it? Wouldn't that be intrusive too? Just because we have someone in our lives doesn't mean our genitals need to be seen in pictures like this. We only do it now because it's cowardly. Guys and girls can see right away if someone is going to play the send-the-nudes game or not with people and if they don't reciprocate then they know it didn't work in their favour. He has no relationship skills by the sounds of it, and is only doing something that he assumes is what you want based on what HE wants.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • To me, there's something which seems off about that relationship, he isn't patient with you at all. I would say to avoid sending him more revealing pictures of yourself, as I get the impression that he might just be using you -- If he really does love you, he should be patient. Also, I mean, why would he send a picture of his junk to you if you haven't even met? More so that he probably expected one in return, but seriously -- don't. That could ruin you so easily, it's really not worth the risk...

    • Show All
    • But, what if in the future I do meet him then we get to know each other. ?

    • Uh, well, my immediate response from this question is to not meet him. I mean, that kind of behaviour, seems WAYYY too fast to be a healthy relationship going on here. I mean, considering you've known the guy for, what.. a month now? And he's already sending dick pics and trying to secure you physically when you're in NY? Something fishy going on there, I don't know anyone who has had good things come of a relationship like that.

  • Waow he's a horny basturd and doesn't respect u. I don't know what so special about these bad boyz seriously >.>
    He only wants ur body and imagine while ur not there, he could be getting at other cuties since he's dat horny.. find sumone who respect u and doesn't pressure u into doing anything ur uncomfortable with.

    • I'm just so impatient and nieve af

    • he's obviously taken of u. Sumone who really luvs u wouldn't be that disrespectful towards u. Seems like he's completely obsessed withs physically but nothing emtionally. He doesn't care how u feel except his selfish desires to pleased him.
      If i were ur brother? I fear that he's gonna rape u when the time comes so i would cut off communication between u and him. Older guys tend to take advantage of younger inexperience gurls ya know.

What Girls Said 4

  • -Are you certain that the person in the pix he sends IS actually him and not someone else?
    -You still have about two more years till you go to college, do you honestly think you guys will stay in touch till then?
    - please, PLEASE stop sending him revealing photos. He might show them to his friends, post them online, blackmail you with them and you don't want that.
    - Just because someone looks sexy (If indeed this is him) it does not mean you should be head over heels for them.
    - If your heart tells you someone thing's wrong, then something IS wrong. Follow your gut feeling.

  • How long have you known this guy? And before you make any of these decisions you should really know him to see if he's genuine, I know it's hard for you to stop talking to him since he's your first. But the distance is too far you don't know what's he's doing in New York girl. Don't show your nudes to him if he's likes you for you and you sent him something little like a your underwear that's a tease he should be fine with it and if he's getting mad don't feel bad for him , but you have fun I think he's using you when he have of free time to talk to you. But like I said have fun your only 16 when you studied in New York or where ever your going your going to meet a lot of guys.

    • I met him through an app I think it was in July

  • Yeah you're right you are being naive in my opinion. Overall I've been through this, in a way. Although the distance was extreme (he lived in another continent.) In the end we remained good friends and that's it. Basically we met online he was a year older than me (i was 17, he was 18) we chatted basically (nothing sexual) everyday for about 5 months. He told me how he felt first, he told me he was starting to have feelings for me basically that he loved me and i told him he was special to me (I didn't say it back as I think that saying the L word has a lot of meaning.) We continued talking in between those first two months we sent each other 2 pics each (just regular pics and well he fell more in love, apparently.) Fastforward to the month he started college it was less contact, it was more effort from me than him. And it was frustrating he lived in a different continent and I couldn't do anything about it. We made promises to each other that if we had the chance we would want to see each other we would, we were both honestly really mature about everything. We weren't even officially going out honestly, but it felt like we were (we are both still virgins) and we keep in contact and its been 4 years since. He still is someone special to me but again we were too young to do something as drastic as drop everything and move to another continent.

    I'm telling you this because I honestly don't think it will work. He seems to demanding, to controlling, just too much. He sent you a pic of his penis and you freaked out, you're young and in all honesty I think you're doing this because you don't want to be alone (in a way) and because it might seem like he cares about you. But in all honesty you've only known him for about month. If you want to continue with him don't send anymore nude pics and don't do anything you're uncomfortable doing, tell him what bothers you and don't let him rule you at all (since he seems controlling.) Best of luck

    • He's asking me for nudes now I think I'm going to cry now. .. I told him I was scared to do it but he said don't worry bby it's only me soo, now I'm screwed :, (

    • You could easily say no. And if he dumps you because if that, he wasn't worth your time.

  • Just please be careful!

Loading... ;