What should I do about my hoarder boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and we live separately now, but we have decided that he will move in with me later this year. The problem is that he is a hoarder... his house is a complete mess, he collects things that I think are junk, and he wants to move all of it into my house. Some of these things are rubber ducky collections, little figurines, and boxes of his ex girlfriend's crap. I told him I'm not crazy about this stuff but I'm willing to compromise and keep certain things that are truly important to him. But that answer wasn't good enough and he blew up at me and he thinks I am being a total b**tch. What should I do? I have worked super freakin hard for my house and I want to keep it nice. I understand that it will now be "OUR" house, but why should I do all the compromising? Another problem is his bed... its super old, its disgusting, he hasn't taken good care of it, and of course he wants to move it here. I told him I would like a new bed, and I will pay for the whole thing. I just thought, since we are moving forward into our relationship, it would be nice to have a new bed. That is the one thing that is really really important to me, but he won't do it. Even though I said I would pay for it! What should I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He needs therapy before he moves in with you. If not, he's just going to clutter your house up and you're going to be even more upset because he sleeps next to you.

    • Thanks for your input. Good answer, I agree. My only question is this: do you think I'm being too hard on him?

    • No you're not... hoarding is a serious issue and he needs to deal with it or not move in with you.

  • Is he autistic or anything like that? I'm mildly autistic and I hoard quite a lot of useless crap as well, I get easily attached to objects...
    Try and get him to question what he needs all this stuff for and why he wants to keep it all. Something's clearly not right. If he's really insistent on keeping all of the stuff, see if he'd get a storage locker or something like that for it.
    Otherwise I don't see how you could convince him to get rid.


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