Do players basically make a girl feel special but choose not to commit to her?

I'm a little confused if the guy I'm dating is a player or not.

He for sure makes me feel special- he will go out of his way to see me and spend time with me, lots of compliments, cute shows of affection like playing with my hands and hair and kisses.

He's always telling me how attractive and hot he thinks I am. I can tell his attraction is at least genuine because of the way he always wants to touch me and the way he looks at me.

He began talking about dating me on our second date. He said I'm someone who he would like to make his gf.

He's had a pretty good number of girlfriends. Definitely knows how to get a girl.

I haven't dated before and he told me he wants to be honest with me about his past. He has shared some ugly things with me that he knows I wouldn't like- like him going to a strip club.

He was slightly nervous in the beginning and when I asked him he said that i am different than most girls and he doesn't know how to go about getting to know me.

He understands my view on sex and how I'm planning on saving for marriage. When I told him he got upset because he didn't get why I would feel the need to. He got angry and said he wasn't trying to get in my pants and also seemed hurt that I would be worrying about that.

Despite knowing this he definitely REALLY wants sex. I can tell. It's just so obvious in the way he touches me and the way he talks about it. He doesn't pressure me to do anything though and did apologize when he pressured me a little once.

On one date he said I seemed sad and I told him that I felt guilty spending so much time with him when I have to study.

After that he said he would tone down the texting and that we could talk about dating officially after I'm more free.

He does refer to himself as my bf and use the word "we" or "our" accidentally. I've definitely caught it. He's also called me "baby" before.

Should I be worried that he isn't interested in committing to me right now? Or does he sound good?


Most Helpful Guy

  • They're just in it for the sex.

    They know not all girls will put out easily, so they manipulation and deception to build a false bond with a girl and then once they've used her for sex, they disappear and move on to the next girl.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Yes. That's why they are players. Why would they commit when they can stay single and remain available for sex with dozens of other girls like you? This is why I always say promiscuous sex does not empower women. It empowers the players. It screws over everyone else.

  • Correct ur title says it all. They are usually the sweet talkers and make u believe in their false deception that they really mean it. Its how things escalate quickly to sex since if they can cast their spells on a cutie, its all over.

  • I don't really know if he's interesting in committing or not, but:

    @"Do players basically make a girl feel special but choose not to commit to her?"

    Yes, they precisely do that.

    It's difficult to say but if I had to guess, I'd say he's still "playing". He may see you as a challenge.

    • I agree with you!

      As for the "asker", if he tries to get you in bed within the first week or he stops contacting you when you aren't (DTF) then he probably is a player.

    • Show All
    • @"He will drive up an hour to see me, he met my sister, he seems to worry about me when I have a problem and tries to help me"

      Those are definitely good signs. It's difficult to call this one; I think it might be worthwhile to give it a bit more time and see how it goes. But do make sure to emphasize just how important waiting for marriage is to him.. e. g. it's difficult to know for sure, but it's possible he might hear that but be thinking in his mind "maybe I can get her to change her mind" (I'm just guessing of course). (That's not even just a player thing, I've been in that situation myself where I really liked a girl but she was 'waiting for marriage' and in my mind I hoped she would change her mind - she didn't, and it couldn't have worked.)

      I didn't get the impression that you're an 'attention freak', and you don't sound like that.

    • Because of the good signs I would hate to shut him out completely. I'll definitely give him a shot. And emphasizing my desire to wait is probably a very good idea.

      I do get the idea that he feels bad when I am unable to reciprocate his openness and affection. He even says he has noticed that I don't seem all that into him.

      Another good sign of his is that he brings up our parents and what they would think of us.

      I'll definitely try to give him a chance. Hoping he is genuine!

      You have been really helpful!! Thank you so much!

What Girls Said 1

  • The answer to your question is yes. But to your story, maybe this guy is just really good at hiding it, but to me from what you described I'd say he's not just in it for sex. If he were I think he would've quit talking to you as soon as you mentioned no sex before marriage. He seems really considerate of your time and responsibilities. You seem like a really sweet girl so it'd suck if he actually were attempting to take advantage of you, but from your description, I'd say he likes you. Don't judge anyone by their past, use their number of people they've been with as a caution, maybe, try not to get emotionally invested until you know their heart is in the right place. But don't just rule out a guy who's trying so hard with you just because he's been with a number of women.