Back on the scene...but FWB/Casual Dating/NSA

I'm fed up with the whole dating/relationships scene, its to damn stressful & I get way to attached/clingy emotionally.

I'm young & I just want to have fun, learn about people & meet a wide variety of people. I'm really starting to hate relationships but I need the affection, I get so lonely without cuddles & kissing. None of my friends seems to understand. I don't want platitudes I want advice.

I'm not really sure how to meet people as I'm very shy. I don't want a relationship, just something casual with the affection. Not sure how to find a guy whose willing though? Well I know a few but they're sleazy & I'm also not sure how to give the impression that I want to meet people as I'm very very very shy.


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  • Unfortunately affection comes with a relationship. I was in the same place as you about 9 months ago. My boyfriend broke my heart and moved out and I wanted affection so bad but I wasn't ready for a relationship, so I thought I would give FWB/NSA a try. I found out some interesting things about it.

    1. Girls/women can get quite quickly attached to the guy they are trying to have NSA with. It goes like this, you meet him, you enjoy each other's company, you become intimate and then, if he doesn't ramp it up to something more, you wonder why and you feel crummy because of it

    2. Unfortunately, most guys don't add much affection to NSA. It really is about sex and not about affection. Most girls get irritated quickly that it appears the guy is calling all the shots, he doesn't have anything to say to you and then all of a sudden he calls out of the blue and wants to see you at the last minute.

    3. There isn't any regularity about it. Seeing someone weekly might not happen. That starts to feel like a relationship and one or the other of you won't like that, so then it becomes very random.

    4. Someone usually does develop feelings and then it gets messy, just like a regular breakup.

    All I can say is that NSA comes with it's own set of headaches. Of course, I see your age and that you talk about "cuddles and kissing", so I am not sure if that is where you expect it to stop and are not talking about sex, but I had not heard of anyone using NSA for just cuddling.

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