Can I ask the guy I just started seeing to attend a funeral with me?

A relatively close friend/coworker recently passed away suddenly. I've been on 2 dates with a guy I met online, but we've bonded well so far, exchanged a lot of e-mails/messages. There was 3 weeks in between our 2nd date as we were both very busy and he went on vacation, but we exchanged a couple messages almost everyday.

Point blank, at the end of the 2nd date, I didn't intend to the former but instigated by him, we made out, held hands, hugged. I want to ask him to attend the funeral with me as having him there just to hold my hand would be helpful (I don't have close friends in the area). I expect to cry somewhat, but I know I will not be a basketcase.

I haven't told him yet of the passing, but I think he would come (and I'll let him know it's ok if he doesn't). However, I'm also not totally sure of my feelings for him. I like him but I've also started to like a guy on my sportsteam (who hasn't asked me out yet). What I mean is, say this didn't work out, I wouldn't want it to seem like I was "leading him on" or something, you know.

Update: I've decided not to ask him to come. I told him about the funeral. I think I will go alone as I know I will see my coworkers there. I may ask my brother to come just to have someone there (It'll be a big funeral so, even though my bro didn't
know him, it'll be ok.
I think the guy would come, but yes, I'd expect he'd feel out of place and I think he would think I want a serious relationship now. (I'm not sure yet about if I like him and he probably likes me too much already).


Most Helpful Guy

  • If he really cares about you, in any way, I can't imagine that he would have a problem with helping you in a time of despair. The only issue I can imagine coming up is that just asking him, outright, could be a bit overwhelming. I don't know if he would feel that way, or not. What I would recommend if talking to him about what happened, explaining your feelings, and telling him about who she was to you as a person. After a while of that is when I would ask him to go with you. How long you talk about it could be anything from an hour or two to a few days. That part is really up to you and how comfortable he seams to be with the discussion and sadness.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah its a great idea but dont be offended if he says no
    it might be because he's not a person who can handle funerals

  • Eh.. even though I somewhat agree to the other guys comments, if you only have been on 2 dates, I would personally probably think its akward. I mean. If a girl asked me to attend a funeral after the second date, i would probably say no. 1 I dont know the diseased, 2. Others might feel offended by my presence as.. who the hell am I to the diseased? 3. I would feel misplaced.
    But hey thats just me. Funerals are kinda personal where I live


What Girls Said 1

  • I think it might be a bit soon to ask for something like that.