When do we have the "exclusivity" talk?

So this guy and I have been talking to each other for almost 4 weeks now. For the last two weeks we have been seeing each other every day. He lives about an hour and a half away from me and he’s been driving to me. This weekend I’m driving over to his place. We have both expressed that we really like each other and he has told me that now he’s exclusively talking to me – I know he was talking to other women too, so I assume he dropped them. We haven’t slept together yet either. Everything is going great so far. So my question is…how long should I wait before asking where we stand relationship wise?
How soon is TOO soon?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I like that word, "exclusivity" talks. To me four weeks is pretty early to call someone exclusive, if you've only been talking for that length of time. I'd wait a couple more weeks to see how things go.

    I don't think there is a "too" soon or "too" late, but when you two deem yourselves in an "actual" relationship. Where "both" parties have agreed that they want a relationship and want to date then at that point I would drop any other women I am talking to. As a ball park estimate maybe 2 months or around 5-7dates seems good, but there is no exact length of time that's right for everybody.

    I want to know the girl has dropped any guys she was talking to as well if it was a mutual understanding that we were both seeing other people before we become "exclusive".

    But I would have "this talk" before I first have sex with a girl, hopefully before I kiss her but not necessarily important as before I sleep with them.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Certainly before you have sex. Then its time to say you need to know that he is not going to risk mixing relationships for the sake of not being honest. But also in modern times we should not risk our health and fertility.
    Dont assume anything with another partner. Communicate communicate. Never assume because this is how affairs and divorce happens. We assume faithful behaviour. Dont.
    Make this a show stopper and a boundary of your self respect. If he has been seeing other women (and you men), insist that you both have screening before. Make it an equal starting position.
    It's a simple test.
    Talk to him about it and see how the conversation goes.

  • To me it's like an unwritten rule, but I guess you could spell it out indirectly by talking about how you dismiss other guys and that there's only one person you're with.

  • ask him :D


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