Should I explain to him about my inexperience? Could that actually be a turn off?

We've gone on three dates, and I stress before each one. And after each one. Because this is so new (I'm 22 and have never dated anyone before), I over-analyze, and worry about showing him that I like him, but also not embarrassing myself. It actually causes me a lot of anxiety. I already suffer from social anxiety, and if any of you have ever dealt with a mental illness before, you should know it's not as easy as "getting over it" or to "just stop worrying". I'm wondering if it's something that I should just bring up with him. Like explain that I'm new at all this, and I over think things, and I get nervous, so if I seem off, I'm just stressing, or something like that... I just feel like I should explain myself so that he doesn't get the (incorrect) impression that I don't like him. Cause u do. He's kind, and funny, and great to talk to. I feel like maybe it'd be best to just kind of get it all out in the open, instead of unintentionally playing mind games with him. Communication is key, right?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's OK, I understand social anxiety.

    You've had three dates, so it seems you're doing fine so far - if he didn't like you, he would have called it off by now. You're doing great! :)

    I would try to explain to him, because like you said communication is important and you don't want to be putting across the wrong idea. Just explain, in whatever way you feel comfortable, whether it be face to face, written note to give him, email, etc., that you DO like him and so because of this, you're worried you'll mess it up because you've not done this before. Now, as someone else has already said, IF he were to ditch you because of that, that would just mean he's not worth any trouble. If he didn't mind and maybe even acknowledged how big a deal it would be for you to tell him, then it's all good because a) he still likes you and b) he understands you a bit better.

    Good luck :) xx


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What Guys Said 3

  • I'd say it to him if I were you, it'll make things a lot easier in the future because you'll have already gotten it off your chest and if he's shallow enough to end things because of that then he's not the type of guy that you should be with anyway, and at least he'll have ended it sooner rather than later.

  • First off there is some really good advice here on this one.

    And I just want to say that coming from a girl, what you said up there would be great for a guy to hear. No matter what because it's the truth, and honestly, it actually comes off very heartfelt.

    Just as Burgundy said, he wouldn't keep 'a callin' if he wasn't interested.

  • You sound like a nice person. Yeah, tell him how you feel about him. At least, you know the answer quicker than stuck in the annoying world of "mind-game-zone".

    Please be prepared for the worst, there are many guys out there who want to be with you. And I know that there is one happy lucky guy will be happy enough to make you smile every single day. I would be greatly to help you if you need me. Update me.


What Girls Said 1

  • i have dealt with that before and still do sometimes. I feel so unsure of myself like im not sure how to act around guys. it depends on the kind of guy he is. some guys can take advantage of an in experienced na├»ve young woman. they can use your weakness to there advantage. the most I have ever told a guy is that I had a really fun time but sorry if I was too quiet because I was nervous. some guys don't like shy girls... and that has helped me weed them out. if they keep coming around and wanting to see me again then i know I can trust telling them more. its nerve racking doing anything new. just try your best to be urself it takes time to b comfortable around someone. and if they are willing to stick around that lon ghten they are well worth it