What's wrong with me? Why don't I have a bf?

I don't get approach
People here say I'm like a 7 or 8.
I don't consider myself ugly
I'm shy but I'm not a B
I do smile to some (strangers) guys that I find interesting
I try to look good
I... idk. What am I missing? I'm not a boring dull person. I promise ): it'll almost be 3 years of the single life. I'm scared to stay single another 3+ years.
Help? How can I be approachabe?
What makes a girl approachable?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, first thing is that you don't have to think there is anything wrong with you just because you have been single for 3 years. I know a lot of girls who wish they had only been single for 3 years, and there is nothing wrong with any of them. It is not a failing on your part in any way.

    The easiest way to not be single is to start asking guys out yourself. You will face a lot of rejection, but you will find boyfriends that way. And you will also learn why it can be incredibly hard for guys to ask out girls while you are doing it, as guys can fear rejection too.

    The alternative to that, if that is a bit intimidating, is to get active in smaller clubs and activities that will have guys with interests similar to your own. A running club, a book club, take a language class, take dancing lessons... whatever. Just start doing things that are specifically tailored to interests and you will be finding yourself in small groups with people that share your interests. That will immediately give you something to talk about, and provide you with a low stress environment for a guy to approach you. He can start talking to you casually without having to worry about the rejection part, and that can make it way easier to then ask you out. You do not want to just find any ol' guy to be a boyfriend, just for the sake of having one. You want to find one that shares your interests, that's the best way to find one that has a better opportunity to last. So pursue opportunities to actively pursue those interests, preferably in ways that involve smallish groups.

    • I know that I won't be lucky enough to find a guy that I can find a common ground just by picking him randomly. That'll be a miracle. I've seriously begged many guys in the past and they all declined me. I'm almost used to rejection. The guys I like or I'm attracted to, are very handsome. Meaning they are more than likely to have a gf already. It's almost impossible to make a connection with someone in a hallway. I'm in college. I don't really have that much time to ask for their # without sounding like a creep.

    • I just DON'T want to have a boyfriend.
      I want someone that I can have a connection with. Someone that can be my lover and my best friend. someone that I can be my goofy self without looking like an idiot to him. In other words, I don't want a guy who will judge me but to go along with me.

    • Well, I can understand wanting someone to be goofy with and not being judged by it, lol, it took me years to find a girl like that. However, definitely don't assume that because a guy is good looking he has a girlfriend. Some guys, even very handsome guys, are looking for a girl to be goofy with too, and a lot of the girls that would approach them may not have the goofy side.

      You are right in that you won't make a connection with someone in a hallway. But there are other places to meet people. I met tons of people in university, and I'm incredibly shy and introverted. And was even more so back then. But I decided that if I wanted to meet people, I had to join something that involved people. For me it was a fraternity, but other people I knew at school joined other groups, and had the same kind of experience. The ones that struggled were the ones that kept to themselves. Plus, most guys find it flattering if a girl asks for their number, not creepy. Of course, they may still say no.

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What Guys Said 2

  • "it'll almost be 3 years of the single life. I'm scared to stay single another 3+ years."

    a whopping 3 years. I've worked at my current job longer than that. You're young! Just be yourself. Those worthy of you will find you.

  • By your logic i am -100 on the "appealing scale". I have been alone for 15 years.
    Why don't *you* approach the guy you like?


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