Is it over or should I still go for it?

I'm sorry this is really long, but if you read it and answer, I will be incredibly grateful.

At the beginning of summer, I asked a friend who I like a lot if she'd ever want to go out sometime in fall when I got back. At the time, she said she'd say yes to a date in fall if nothing changes over the summer.

Over the summer, I saw her once in a group of friends when I came to visit. It was the middle of summer so I didn't really try to flirt or anything and we were completely cool as friends for the day.

Now its fall. I just moved into my new place yesterday. She was trying to get a group of people to go out last night, but people didn't want to. My roommate told me plans were just canceled, so I just stayed in. In texting her, she said she was having people over to her place, but didn't tell me when or that I was invited. This morning I got a text saying she was really sorry and that my roommate was supposed to tell me I had been invited to come.

During the day, I did my ice bucket challenge and nominated my former roommates (her included). I was texting her at the time and sent her a "BTW, sorry" text referring to the nomination. She texted back "You don't need to apologize for anything", referring to me asking her out, presumably. I pointed out she should check Facebook and we moved on to talking about the challenge.

Earlier, after she had apologized about not inviting me the night before, she mentioned she was getting a group to play trivia tonight. We met up for that in a group of like 8 friends and all drank and played and had a good time. That being said, I was sitting right next to her for half of it and again, we acted completely as friends, but we were also with all our friends so it would have seemed really weird to have been flirting there.

So, what do you think? Does it sound like she's still interested that she was saying I don't need to apologize? OR does she just want to put this behind us and be friends? Or something else entirely

Well, for anyone who was wondering, I have confirmed that things have indeed changed and she's no longer (or never really was, hard to say) interested. Now begins the always fun trying to continue to be friends. I feel sick.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try to flirt. She may still be interested but since you were the one who initially did the asking, you should ask again. Just try it out: "Did you still want to go out sometime just the two of us?" Or "It's really nice hanging out as a group, but would you like to try some time just us?"

    • I was thinking of asking her when I get a chance something like "So has anything changed?", figuring she should definitely know what I'm talking about and would give her an easy out if she has changed her mind. Then if she says no, we could figure out a time for a date. Does that sound good?

    • Sounds good. But be prepared to have to specify in case she doesn't remember for whatever reason.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like she may like you (based on the "you have nothing to be sorry about" text.. I've only ever said that to guys I like honestly) and based on the fact that she did tell you she would go out on a date with you! I would ask her out, before anything changes :)

    • So you would recommend me ask her out sooner than later?

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    • Sorry for getting back to you so late. I would find a time when it's just the two of you and ask her out. Don't make it a big thing. Just like "hey you know I would really like to take you out, would you still want to go on a date with me?" type thing. You know? And then plan a nice, but casual, evening for the two of you :)

    • Alright, I'll try to do that. My friends are all doing an apartment crawl on Saturday, so I'll try to find a time during that to talk to her somewhat privately. If I don't get a chance to talk to her then, I guess I'll set something up with just her to make sure I can talk to her alone.

  • Sge probably still like you but you definitely should go out alone and talk it out (:

    • Since we were never really flirty with each other before (she's not a flirty person and I'm pretty reserved), do you think it would be worth trying to build up doing some flirting with her first, or just ask her right away before she thinks I changed my mind?

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    • Maybe go to the park and hang out or maybe movie day with her.. or just doing something simple that you both like doing I personally love going to the park and just like talk and spend time together, it doesn't have to be anything too serious (:

    • She loves movies and would probably be all for that (we used to lounge around and watch movies all the time when she was one of my roommates last year) except for the fact that we both have roommates now and I think we would probably keep it on the down low with our friends at first if we were going to try dating, so that's probably out. But going to the park or something like that could be a good idea

  • Dude. Go for it.

    • Right away or after spending some time as friends flirting and whatnot?

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    • Nonsense! Flirting can happen anytime. You probably flirt and don't even know it. Its actually almost inevitable when you talk to someone you like or think is cute. But you should do what you feel and if you feel like a date would be good then ask her out!

    • With this girl, I'm not sure it can. In the past she's called me out on compliments and stuff. I think the closest thing to flirting we have is her teasing me relentlessly when we were living together. She also generally dislikes physical contact with friends, so while I think it would be different if we were dating, that side of flirting isn't really an option right now. I also think we wouldn't really make a big deal about it right away with our friends if we started dating, so I don't think overt flirting in groups of friends would go over well.

      We're doing an apartment crawl with all my friends this weekend, so I'm thinking I'll try to maybe flirt with her a bit, but for sure try to ask her if she'd still want to go on a date and try to set something up.

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