Do I sleep with this girl, or do I risk it with the other girl?

There's this girl I've been talking to everyday for months, and I have really strong feelings for her, like with met up a few times and hooked up and stuff, but I still feel she doesn't feel the same way back, and I think she doesn't want a relationship. Also I haven't had the chance to ask her where we are at in terms whether we're more than friends.
Ok but then there's this new insanely hot girl who approached me recently saying she really wants to "chill" with me.
Now my dilemma is that as tempting as this sounds, I don't know if it's ok to do. I mean I really like the first girl, I can't shop thinking about her, but yet again, there's that possibility that we will never be in a relationship together that she will just want to be friends. Now if there is the chance that she wants to be something more, I don't want to risk that possibility by doing something that will jeopardise that, like sleeping around with this other girl. I'm really confused.
What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

    Seriously though, think about what's going in in the grand scheme of things rationally for a moment.

    You're 18-24. You're not ready to settle down for anyone yet. As Yogi Bera would say, "When there's a fork in the road, take it." Your fork here is: (1) sex with someone you're meh about, and (2) the possibility of sex with someone you feel crazy about right now. Let's not bullshit ourselves; it's not about "love" or the "relationship." It's about a positive "feel good" experience. That's what you're after. So, in all seriousness, why not just take the fork in the road? If you go for the easy sex, who knows, maybe you'll get it out of your system early in the relationship and after your eyes are no longer blinded by testosterone and sperm, you'll actually start to see her for all her other positive qualities and find someone you want to have a long-term relationship with. If you go for the fantasy that makes your chest feel warm and blood flutter all over your body when she's around, you might get blue balls and discover first-hand that the girl you wanted existed more in your mind that it did in the girl that you wanted.

    With that said, I leave you with a few quotes:

    "Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else." - George Orwell, 1984

    "I knew I had fallen in love with Lolita forever, but I also knew she would not be forever Lolita." - Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

    "If you finally reach Ithaca and find her poor, Ithaca would not have fooled you, wise as you will have become, so full of experience, you would have understood by then what these Ithacas mean." - C. P. Cavafy, Ithaca

    "If you're a man, get married. If you found a good wife, you'll be happy. If you found a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates


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What Girls Said 2

  • Ask the first girl asap what you two are... That should determine your next move.

    • I want to bring it up, but it's something I want to talk about in person, and at the moment we just can't find the time to meet up, so I'm a bit stuck

    • Oh, yikes. I just reread what you said more than once. Yeah, if it were me, I wouldn't risk it. You don't even know for sure whether or not your friend sees things moving forward between the two of you. If she were to find out you were messing around with someone else before talking to her about it she probably won't even be able to take you serious.

  • it depends on how bad u want to 'chill' with the other girl... and how much u really care about 'this girl'.

    cuz u sound like 'if in the end i do not get this girl, i will end up with nothing... then i will so regret that i did not go with the other chick'?

    since in ur statement u said do i 'sleep with this girl or the other?', if u just want some girl to sleep with and how she comes then why the wait.


What Guys Said 1

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