Why do I deserve to suffer?

Why do I deserve to suffer seriously, why? I got rejected by some girl not too long ago, and you know what? Fuck it, just fuck it. I'm so fucking sick of people saying to move on, don't you fucking idiots get it, I can't move on, I really just can't. I don't like any other fucking girl, I really don't know why it's so hard for people to get that, don't you get, I will die fucking alone. Everyone always blames guys for being upset over getting rejected, because"girls can't help how they feel" well, know what, neither can I, and if a decide to blow my brains onto my room wall, then it's not your business or anyone else's. And, know what, anyone other girl that could love me is either desperate or probably extremely obese, I don't even care if one of them are attractive, there not her, and I don't care what they do with their lives, they mean less than nothing to me, and I really mean that. Honestly, I used to be a nice person, but, at this point, I'm always angry and sad, I can't even force myself to appreciate anything in life, right now, I hate everything, I hate the existence of life, that's how miserable I am, pathetic, huh? I'm basically beyond help, in fact, my question could be thought of as a way to ask what I should do to solve my problem. I've tried moving on, but, with my life as it is now, still having to face a lifelong battle with borderline personality disorder before I'm even 18, I don't even want to live anymore, I don't care if there is no God or no life after death, anything would be better than living at this point, believe me, I've been trying to be happy, but cutting has finally helped me the most, at this point I just hate everyone I've ever met, and I am totally prepared to kill myself to escape this feeling, believe me, nothing else will work. So, what I really wanted to ask, the real point of my question, what is the least painful way to end my life? Don't say not ending it because that's not an option.
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Why can't anyone just answer my question? I know I'm at fault for everything, I know I can't be happy, I know I'm an evil dumb piece of shit that, believe me, I've been told that my entire life and don't need to be reminded! Just tell me what to do!
Why do I deserve to suffer?
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