Was he waiting for me to follow-up on our date?

I've been on 3 dates with a guy, where we talk for hours over drinks. The last date we made out briefly. He texted me when he got home, saying he had fun. The next morning he messaged me asking me if I'd like to go out again that weekend. He suggested the movies or out to dinner. Unfortunately, I couldn't as I had a funeral and had to study. I suggested the following Friday and he said that was fine and understood I had a lot of studying to catch up on (in addition to working full-time).

We talked everyday (several messages back and forth) til Thursday (sometimes he would initiate it, other times I did). By Thursday evening, he still hadn't mentioned Friday. So I brought dinner up again, and he said, "Sure thing!". And started to suggest places to eat.

Should I have waited for him to bring up meeting on Friday? Maybe he was waiting for me to bring up to ensure I had interest in him?

Thank you everyone. Update: We went out for dinner last night, but he was having a bad headache. He really was unwell, but he wanted to stay as he wanted to see him. He was very sweet the whole night, caressing my hand
It ended again with making out by my car, but he spent most of the time hugging me, kissing my nose and cheeks, etc, telling me he "likes me" etc. When I got home, he msg'd me, still laughing at a joke I made at the end of the night and wishing me


Most Helpful Guy

  • You did the right thing. Once you reject a guy in anyway, it's pretty much on you know to make the next move. If I invite you to something and you turn me down, regardless of the reason, I'm going to assume you don't want to see me that bad. If you did you'd over off a different day. So if a girl just says "sorry I'm busy doing...", he's going to wait for her to ask him out to see if she is in fact interested or was trying to blow him off. Honestly this is dating 101 for guys. Every dating coach will tell a guy to see if she makes alternate plans when has to reject his date due to prior obligations. Vice verse girls will instruct other girls to do this as a way of telling the guy that you do really want to see him, you are just genuinely busy and not trying to blow him off. Plus things like "studying" commonly seem disingenuous since they are not set and stone and could have been easily moved around.

    By taking the initiate and making plans, you showed him that you are in fact interested in him. Honestly regardless of the circumstance, I think every girl should also be taking some initiative. It's just smart. Guys are human to, not some robots that are programmed to chase women at all costs. If we don't get a sense that you are interested we re going to leave. We are reasonable people who can expect to make assumptions based on a persons behavior, just as you do. What kind of message do you think it sends to any person, when you never initiate contact with them and you always wait for them to do it?

    • ... continuing from my comments above as it cut me off... and wishing me good night. The next day I asked how his headache was and we exchanged a few msg's back and forth. He then said, "We should do this again sometime", and I replied "Yes, of course, cause I kind of like you too", and then he just replied to that, joking about the "kind of" part with a kissy emoticon. I replied back that kind of fit for now, with a wink and kissy face... No reply yet... I was going to suggest we go for a walk in the park/trails (as he is new the area and we talked about me showing him around)... but should I wait until he makes a more direct offer? Thank you

    • I should clarify, during our date when he first said he "likes me", he was the one to say "I kind of like you... cause I don't want to sound maniacal"

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • When you went out 3 times with him on a date, accepted his invitation and made out with him, that is already morethan enough on your part to show that you are interested in him. On the first few dates, always wait for a guy to initiate unless you two are going steady. When you are together exclusively, then you can take turns in planning for dates and stuffs. :)

    At this stage, it is important for you to see if he is really interested in you not the other way around. If he is, he will never forget to ask and remind you about Friday. But since you asked first , you lose the chance on knowing the level of his eagerness to see you again.

    Relationships with girls who initiates doesn't really end up well most of the time. On the other hand, I am guessing he was also about to remind you. Guys don't think like we do so I am sure that he never waited for you to bring it up nor he was worried about your interest in him.

    Let this go, just remember next time, never show you are super eager to meet again. Keep him guessing. :)

  • If he's the one who asked you about it first, than there's nothing wrong with mentioning it! If he changed his mind than he wouldn't be talking to you everyday. I think guys like it when girls make moves:)