A guy i'm dating slipped up?

A guy I've been dating for 8 months had sex with another woman. I found the evidence. We weren't in a committed relationship or talked about being exclusive but he made it seem like he was only with me. When we are together we are very comfortable with each other and get along very well. Sex with him is the best we are very passionate with each other, except the night after he had sex with this other girl. Before I found the evidence he swore up and down he wasn't seeing anyone else. When I got home I text him saying I found a panty that wasn't mine I tore it because I was hurt and it's now hanging on the door knob in his bedroom. I got no response from him. Could he have been embarrassed because he lied or is just a coward? We are supposed to be having a conversation about this soon, he wants us both to cool off first. My question is do you think he is going to stop seeing me? or maybe make more of a commitment with me? Or tell me he wants her and not me? I know i'll find out soon but I just want some opinions. Thanks

We finally talked. He said I turned him off when I went off on him in his own house. We'll he deserved it! He said he doesn't want a relationship with anyone ( meaning me) because he just got out of two back to back. He wants to be friends I said NO!
He also said we got too close too soon. No he's just running scared don't you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Dating isn't commitment. Dating is just dating and a person can date multiple people at once. Until exclusivity is discussed and a commitment is made there are no rules. That said. If you feel betrayed have the 'what are we?' talk with him or just walk away from the situation.

    I think he just doesn't want to have an argument about it. That is why he wants things to cool down. He didn't answer because he doesn't have to answer. As I say, you are just dating.

    • Yes i agree with you. I did ask him if he was seeing someone and he flat out said NO!! So he did led me to believe it's just me so i was shocked to see the panty. Thanks for your opinion!

    • Usually it becomes a tit for tat. If someone I want wants to talk about other men with me I will start bringing up my activities with other women.

      If I am asked I'd say no automatically because in that moment it's all about that woman (Unless I want angry sex but I don't want to complicate the issue). A man can sleep with as many women as he wants to while he isn't committed. That doesn't mean he'll tell the women he's doing that.

      Life is supposed to be fun and there are many forms of fun. If he was doing this after commitment I'd tell you to ditch him but right now what he is doing technically isn't 'wrong'. I'm not saying it's right but dating is a grey area that get's used and abused a lot.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Totally a case of cheating dude gets caught and if you have no qualms about pursuing such a person then good luck to you. My experiance is that people like that will say anything they have to and he'll probably make a commitment but is that actually gonna change his behavior... doubtful at best

    • Thanks for your opinion. i want to talk to him face to face to see what he has to say. If he doesn't want to lose me he'll have to change his ways, If not bye bye

  • He's probably trying to figure out how to get out of it since you seem ticked. I doubt he'll want to commit to you more now. He likes side pussy, obviously.

  • I wouldn't trust him, get back with him, if I were you. I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater, right? But, I don't know the guy, so, what right do I have to judge... I don't know

  • He didn't slip up. Just because you don't verbally say you are committed to each other doesn't mean you're not when your actions show otherwise. He led you to believe you 2 were together & he cheated, simple as that.

    Who knows what he's going to do, only time will tell. But I bet he'll make up a bunch of excuses as to play it down & if you let him, or make up excuses for him that's up to you but in the end he cheated & the question is, why would you care what he's going to do? Get rid of HIS ass because if he stays, it is just a matter of time until he does it again.

    • Yes he did led me to believe we were together. I believe people deserve second chances within reason. After our talk i will get rid of him if he doesn't commit and change his ways. Thank you :)

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