Is it true that if you ask a guy what he wants and he tells you "I don't know" that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you?

Maybe it's circumstantial, but when would this be honest and when would it mean he's not interested? what if he has told you he likes you/made time to hang out with you without having sex?

  • probably not interested
    Vote A
  • probably interested
    Vote B
  • truly doesn't know
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I feel like it could be out of shyness or nervousness, but also a brush off?
does it mostly depend on the situation and background?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's possible but I think it's far more likely he's focussed so much on you that he forgot about himself. This happens with things from sex to going out. I didn't do what I want to my last girlfriend in bed and she felt like I wasn't interested and left. /Broken heart. My best friend is doesn't want to go anywhere ever and that has put pressure on all of his relationships. I wanted to be with that girl and my friend wants to be with his. If we seem disinterested then we are holding back because we are scared.

    • how can I tell if he's holding back because he's not interested in me personally?

    • Well for sex "Don't hold back, I'm not scared, I trust you" then hold on tight. Nothing I can say about going out tho. Me and his GF are working on that.

    • meaning I should say that to him?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • In the case that I'm considering the prospect of being in a relationship with someone and express 'I don't know', I would likely not push for a relationship but would be within the threshold of being receptive to advances by a woman. It could be that he's considering several options - the one who grabs him is the one who'll have him.

    • so if you were to say that it means you're receptive to a relationship?

    • Show All
    • Every romance I've pursued in the context of formal dates has been unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and failed.

    • that kind of makes sense, I've never been on something I'd call a "formal" date with this guy either

  • Most of the time it's because he really doesn't know. If he really didn't want to most guys would just tell you.

    • that's pretty much what I hoped

  • He's letting you down nicely. Girls do it all the time.

    • he just recently started contacting me again after things ended with us 8 months ago. he called like 4 times and texted before I answered him. i don't know why he'd do that but not be interested, idk.

  • Means he doesn't know and needs time to think.

    • have you told a girl you don't know?

What Girls Said 1

  • I always feel that it means the guy just doesn't know what he wants with anyone and has very little to do with you. Usually, dating around or desiring to see if those experiences would show him what it is.

    • we had a complicated relationship before because he wasn't ready to commit (had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship that ended badly, and was his only relationship he'd ever been in) I would hope things would have changed, he knows it hurt me the last time...

    • More importantly you know he hurt you the last time. I found that timing is so important , at which point you meet a man, will determine what he does with you. If a guy just got out of a relationship and he's not looking for anything too serious, he'll still DESIRE to be in one, but wouldn't have the capacity to maintain one. He's made up his mind day one. Wouldn't matter what the girl does or how wonderful she is.. The process of going back and forth is like the aforementioned, figuring out what he wants. Till the man is ready and made a decision for himself, no girl would be able to fix that. So find a guy that is ready for a long term/ committed relationship, got their emotional baggage in check, well rounded. It would only mean this guy is open to changes, to growing , to sticking through something. Just like how they are when they set their mind on something, nothing will deter them from that. E. g. setting fitness goals, career etc