Boyfriend isn't over ex of over five years ago?

Long story short. He constantly looks up her facebook. Probably about twice a week or so.

We have been dating for almost two years and have six month old twin boys together.
We fight constantly and things get really rocky between us, but there are times where we are happy.

I try my hardest to get over it. But since our boys have gotten here, it's been so stressful. He's always out with his friends drinking and I'm just at home taking care of our kids, when I would like a break of my own every so often.

What really got me was that he searched her Facebook right next to me while I was feeding one of our boys.

He always talked so poorly of her, so why can't he stop this?
It's getting to the point where he misses her so much, that I think that he would rather of had kids with her instead. We fight and it makes me feel worse because he wishes he could be with her. It would be better that way. He would have less to deal with. He'd have a better looking girlfriend. One that would treat him better. One that he would love more.

On top of feeling like a terrible girlfriend, I feel like a terrible mom. I can't seem to get anything right anymore.

ALSO he has called me a whore and a slut and all that numerous times. Says he doesn't enjoy sex because I'm too loose. Totally putting me down. It's gotten to the point where I feel dirty about anything sexual. Where I don't even want him to touch me


Most Helpful Guy

  • Where do you think your relationship can go from here? Exist in a state of "getting along"?

    I am sorry but his heart has begun to wander...

    At this point his heart might be partially devoted to his children, but the verbal abuse is a symptom of a heart you no longer hold.

    When men get sex before making a commitment to you for life (AKA Marriage, after a foundation has been established), our hearts and minds can wander. Unfortunately that's what's going on here.

    You need to sit him down and talk to him like an adult. Tell him that he has two children, two beautiful twins that need him. Tell him that his heart is wandering... If his ex takes him back after he dumps you, after fathering two children with you, that says a lot about her.

    This is a sad, sad situation. I am praying for you and I hope that God can prick his heart and wake him up so he can realize what he's doing.

    • So if a man gets married first, his heart will never wander?

    • Did I say that?

      If you give him sex before creating a foundation fo months and years of abstinent dating, and before he commits the rest of his life to you, what reason, exactly, does he have to stay with you, and not someone prettier? Even if you have kids, you;re still just his "girlfriend".

      If, however, he (and you) spend the months, and years, getting to know one another, abstaining from sex and even making out, knowing one another as human beings (Friends spend time around each other all the time without having sex.) growing to love- or to discover they are not the right person- THAT foundation is much more apt to have a guy's heart stay true to his women, don;t you agree?

      Or, do you think that sleeping with him on the first date is the best way to keep him yours?

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What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh My Gosh!! He is a terrible person for saying those ugly, awful and UnTrue things to you!!! You Do Not deserve to be treated so badly. I'm sure you're a beautiful young woman with more to offer than that stupid jerk deserves to have in his life! And for Pete's sake, DO NOT allow that Creep to even touch your body (which is to be treated as a temple), let alone to have sex with you. He Is Not Worthy! (When I say you body should be treated as a temple, I do not mean biblically, I mean it should be worshipped) 😉

  • Sounds like you chose the wrong guy to have kids with. Time to pack up your things and leave.

  • I'm not trying to sound mean but he seems like a jerk. Why did you want to have a family with a guy who calls you those names and is still hung up on another girl? Bringing a baby into the picture seems like it'll fix everything, but it never does... =(

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