My trust is hurt, what do you guys think about my situration?

so i've secretly stalked my bfs chat rooms and i found out he was talking to this girl, deleted former chats with her and im not aure if they actually had something, but over previous text they were really really flirty. i feel very very bad for actually hacking his chats and we had a big argument. now we talked it out and he said he blocked her but i feel like my trust got hurt big time from knowing a) he texts with this girl he's been flirty with b4 us and b) he's been deleting messages and i mean why would you delete chats that are alright?

i dont know how to feel to be honest. i feel bad for looking through ans try to be so nice to him and all but at the same time I feel sad cause he hides stuff and lies.

Oh and they were flirty BEFORE we got into a relationship. I do not think he cheats at all, im sure he doesn't but that he still texts with her and deletes messages.. suspicious


Most Helpful Guy

  • I delete messages when im done talking to a person. Done talking- meaning I dont care about that person anymore and I wouldn't want to message that person anymore. If he was flirting with that girl BEFORE you were dating, then you shouldn't be worried about anything. He is loyal that he blocked her and doesn't talk to her anymore. He probably deleted the messages because he is like me and he moved on, or he doesn't want you freaking out or getting jealous over something that is in the past, like you are doing right now.

    • No the thing is he blocked her only today. After I confronted him. The new chatroom he had woth her was from july-august and it were maybe 6 messages where he replied shortly. When asking if thats it he said he deleted what they texted before.

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    • okay, yes makes sense. just dont know why he would hide stuff and not delete her long time ago

    • I'm not sure either. Maybe he's just nice, and wouldn't cut out a girl from his life. Or he was hiding it because he didn't want you getting stressed out over something that is pointless.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Answer: Fruits of a poisoned tree.

    Answer explained: I'm sorry to say the tree (relationship) has been poisoned by distrust and deception. The fruits will be sour and toxic. I recommend growing a new tree with someone else. Trust is one of the pillars of a good relationship, it is VITAL. Without it, it will be a house of lies and deceit, which will eventually come falling down and you will be crushed by it.

  • You have the right to feel hurt. I mean if his flirting with other girls he must of gotten a bit bored with you. As for hacking his chats that's a bit far. But if he was trying to hide something then you should of talked to him face to face. And if he was deleting his calls and texts he was hiding something. You've done certain things right. But I think you've both lost a bit of trust with each other.

    Hope what I've said helps.


    • If he was flirty before they was either good friends or had feelings for each other. I've seen it happen before. It can end really nasty.

    • well he still denies that he met here and stuff but thats hard to believe when they exchanged numbers and were super flirty

    • Do you believe him when he says his not met her. And if his being super flirty thats a red flag. Infact a few of the things his done are red flags. It's down to trust. You just have to trust him.

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