I'm an extremely shy guy.. How to talk to random girls I find attractive without bothering them.. Where can I do this outside of a bar setting?

Im an extremely shy guy.. How to talk to random girls i find attractive without bothering them.. Where can i do this outside of a bar setting?


Most Helpful Girl

  • you could take advice from those guys, or me, so If you want a woman's advice, here is mine.
    personally, I think shy guys are better, but just make yourself mysterious.. Like you have a sense of maturity but a sense of humor.
    If I were you just don't sweat it,
    If you find someone attractive make it for the right reasons.
    If they don't like you, move on.
    Just whatever you do DO NOT put a mask on ( acting like someone your not ) don't act like a cocky asshole if your not.
    Because in the end she could like or love someone that isn't you, it was the mask you put on.

    • Dont women like bad boys?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • I hate when people say well I want to fin dates outside of the bar scene. Most couples I know are out of the bar scene. When you see a pretty girl at the grocery store, just approach her.
    the best way to meet them is while doing things you like to do. So if you like working out girls talk to the quite at the gym. Or at Home Depot. Just anything

    • You got me all wrong.. Im not knocking the bar scene, i just said oustide of bars only because i dont drink

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    • What if she gets mad at me for approaching

    • Then who cares. You win some you lose some. Just like the bar not every girl is goon to say yes. So just keeping searching for the one that does say yes. One girl turning you down doesn't mean there aren't 100 other cute girls in the grocery store. Just keep searching

  • The occasional glance is always appreciated !! Try not to over think things and do what comes natural. Thinking genuinely ruins these things so if you're compelled to sit beside her, do it! I'm kinda shy myself and there was a guy working in the asda beside me (asda, I know but he's soo nice!) We made eye contact and smiled at each other every time I was there and eventually I kept my phone number on a bit of paper in my bag and blatantly handed it to him when I saw him!! Don't get me wrong I was bricking it but I literally just handed it to him as I walked past, he text me and we went out for a year ; )

    • Man i wish a girl did that to me

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    • Do women enjoy rejecting guys?

    • I suppose everyone likes to feel like they're in control but the majority of people hate telling someone off :)

  • I personally love a shy guy :) it's very attractive! Let your personality show and try not to overthink it to much! I would say anywhere goes, first thing that came to my mind is at a lake or park so there's more people around and things to look at and comment on. Best of luck

    • Thank you. I just started to see this girl.. When do i know can i hold her hand? Do i ask first? I need to show her i really like her

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    • Im not sure how as im new to dating

    • It makes it awkward if you over think it. In your heart you will feel when it's the perfect time. For instance, if you were watching a movie with her you may slide your hand closer to hers who knows she may even reach for your hand in that moment. In a different setting, if you were walking together and you are having a good conversation (maybe a little more personal about themselves or they're dreams) you may look at her and smile and ask if you may hold her hand. Either way I'm sure she'd be flattered!

  • The gym, the grocery store, getting gas, at the doctor. Think of something in common to say to break the ice like.. "Geeze gas prices are rediculous! Nice car by the way, what model is it? Etc."

    • And i get a number just from that?

    • No but if the conversation goes well you ask if she wants to grab coffee sometime. That's how you get the number.

  • First of all, you seem cute, and that's because you're shy. Women like a shy guy, trust me!
    So if you want to talk with random girls, just be yourself (but don't be intimidate by them). Let me know, are you a funny guy? If you're a funny guy, that's a big advantage, boy! Women also like a funny guy, and if you're romantic at the same time... oh dear, lovely!

    • Dont women only want fit guys?

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    • Of course you have chances. Let me tell you something:most of girls do care if a guy has a fit body or not, but most of girls don't care about that. If a guy looks really good but it's a jerk, then we don't like him. So yes, you have as many chances as every guy.

    • Thanks.. My pics have gotten very bad reviews on this site

What Guys Said 3

  • its really simple. Act confident and take a deep breath. Unfortunately girls won't fall into your lap if you're shy! you have to go up to the girl you think is cute and tell her she looks great today. or, ask if there are any restaurants near by, or any movie theaters close by! then if she gives you an answer open up the conversation by asking her what kind of food/movies she likes, etc etc before you finally ask for her number! girls aren't scary man. you just have to realize that if you don't ask you'll never get

    • You make it sound so easy

    • thats because it is man! point is you have to anticipate that it won't work every time, thats just the nature of dating. but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. trust me, if i allowed myself to be my quiet self around women i wouldn't be able to tell you this stuff

  • I am a shy person too. I am not able to talk to a random girl as well. Booze helps me sometimes but it's not a solution. Yeah? :D. Me advice for you is to try a dating website. That worked fine for me and I have dated several girls so far. Here are my recommendations


    Oh, you can use some mobile apps too. Try Tinder and Hot of Not. They are great! a

    • I've tried all the online dating sites.. Nothing but superficial, picky women on there

  • You can't.
    You HAVE to *bother* them and not care. If you start caring your shyness takes over and you fail.
    You ooze failure.

    • how to pick up girls like an asshole 101

    • "bothering" people for a shy person can mean anything that a normal person would not even think of.
      Like interrupting their sitting them reading the newspaper or something.
      Just because i told him to be more confident doesn't make me an 'asshole'.

    • I dont think you're an asshole.. I appreciate your advice