Racial Preferences and Dating: The dividing line?


For starters I normally hate racial questions and quite frankly get tried of seeing the serial abusers but I was on YouTube procrastinating and came across this short video, the link is above.
If you're too lazy to lazy to watch it's basically about a guy (Asian), who for some reason was meeting or talking to chicks from Craigslist, continuing the story he exchanges number with a girl, they talk and discover they have a lot in common
They decided to meet but before they do, he ask for a picture and discover she's black
He suddenly isn't interested in his perfect girl anymore because she's black and he's talking about how terrible he feels. Etc
I felt terrible for both parties though he is to blame &
As we all know everyone has racial preferences like if a Indian girl walks into a room she's most likely initially scoping out the Indian guys. Just naturally not in a bias way

This video was just so interesting because of the constant debate about racism and preference & the dividing line

So let's say you meet the perfect person and they're of a different race, caste, your cultures are arch nemesis
Do you flat out reject that person and call it racial preference?

Seriously curious to know where and how people define the line between preference and racism


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that was a little extreme, i'm personally very attracted to black girls but i wouldn't feel disgust against other races. I found the video interesting though because obviously he is american, and even more obvious is that Asians there are a minority, its highly likely that the girl wasn't going to be asian. Most likely white since they're the majority.

    That tells me that he wouldn't have had a problem with dating out of his race, it was more specficially that she was black. I have no idea what his past experiences have been but perhaps something happened in the past. i think he was over exaggerating the issue though

    • I never considered the minoriy /majority factor, interesting.
      Most likely not from past experience its just Asian culture north, east, south Asia especially is scary, just ask a few close Asian friends. Ask them how their family would react and what the punshiments are

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    • It's been around for years but never at this level.
      I call or a fad because until now it has never gotten to the point where two people of the same race feel the need to disrespect and stereotype one another. Where they feel the need to spread their propaganda and advise people not thier own kind. I won't go into details bit the videos, the articles, the tweets speak for themselves. 50,40,30,20,20,10 years ago even if someone didn't date their own they never used these as methods of justification. This isn't ginuwine interest, it's a growing trend based off of several issues within the black community. A tactic used by those who feel they are better than their community and those who are attempting to better themselves.
      The only exception I'll make is for biracial kids and blacks who grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods.
      However, most black people don't fall into that category. Most of these new exclusive only antics are coming from people who grew up in black households

    • that fit the stereotype, who find a quick break of success and suddenly only want to exclusively date
      Etc. I love interacial dating, I come from a very diverse family but people "black" are jumping on the exclusive train for the wrongf reasons
      Its scary, why I wish it would die

      I'm very concerned about the future of the black community, its not lookin good

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Black, White, Brown, Yellow, Purple, Red, scrawny, chubby, fat, tall, or short. I do not mind any.
    If she's attractive to me and I like her personality then that is all that matters.

    I do know most people have a preference, it does not bother me. It's their lives, they do what they wish with it.

  • When people start talking in absolutes, that's when I feel that racism is at play.

    For example:

    -I would never date/marry a (********) girl.
    -I would never find a (********) girl attractive.

  • There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to a specific type of race. But I personally am attracted to attractive women, I don't know what their race is. But I'm mixed white/Hispanic and my girlfriend who is the most amazing girl in the world is black.

  • I would never flat out reject a person simply because of race, but I am conscious of my skin colour and know that others won't have anything to do with me because of it.

  • Honestly pathetic if you would cancel someone out just because of race. Especially if you thought they were great for you. I feel so bad for people who go through their lives like that.

  • the problem i have with questions like this is that its usually posted by black women who largely have exclusionary preferences of their own (such as dating interracially exclusively... ie. no black men allowed) so the fact that this dude has a preference of his own that doesn't include black women really doesn't bother me. People are entitled to having their own physical standards, even if it discludes particular racial groups

    • You were so focused on "black women" you missed the point of the question.
      This was actually seriously a random question, from a random video I just stumbled upon
      I just happen to fit into the category and if you read the rest of my comments you would've saw were O expressed my disapproval of black women trying to exclusivly date outside black men
      I posted this video question because it was interesting he was describing what he described or thought was preference yet later expressing having underlying racial issues in his conscious that he need to work on
      So I asked the question about how many people would flat out reject a person based of race, caste or cultural and then label it "preference" because I wanted to gasp how many people knew the difference between preference and having underlying racial issues like the guy was describing I'm the video yet saying preference

      They're too different things

    • **Two & by the way actually outcasting based on race, culture and caste is more infamous in Asia-India-middle east than any other place which is why I didn't make my question posed exclusively to or about black women but people always jump shotgun as soon as black is brought into the picture

  • he's experiences are most likely very limited with black women so I believe that had some impact on his decision.


What Girls Said 4

  • People need to stop confusing preferences with exclusion. It's one thing to have a stronger attraction to a physical of mental characteristic, but when you avoid or reject people because of it, it is no longer just a preference, it is a deal breaker. There is a HUGE difference and I really people would stop throwing the word preference around as a defense.

    An example of preference: I personally find tall men to be attractive. However, I have dated short men in the past and wouldn't mind doing it again in the future. Height isn't a deal maker or breaker for me, it's just the icing on the cake.

    An example of deal breaker: I don't date religious men. Like at all. No and, ifs, buts.

    I'm not saying people can't have deal breakers, but they need to stop BSing about it in fear of being judged. If a guy doesn't want to date black women they that's FINE. If a woman only dates tall men that's TERRIFIC. But don't call it a preference if you know damn well it's really a deal breaker.

  • I honestly believe that many people misuse the intended meaning behind the word 'preference' so they don't actually have to acknowledge or revise a part of the way they think. My eyes roll so far back in my head that I actually see my brain when people substitute genuine thought with "Everyone has their preferences", speaking as if they sound intelligent. I think the way people act on that word is the modern day, more mild version of discrimination. Think back to the 1940's with signs that said "No colored"... how is it any different? You are looking at someone and INSTANTLY DISMISSING THEM strictly because of the way they look, despite all of the delightful attributes they may possess.

    With that said, no, I do not reject people and lie to myself about it being a "racial preference" because I'm far more intelligent than that and my parents taught me better.

    • Nailed It, within the 1st sentence..! Sadly, even some of the most educated individuals refuse to acknowledge.

    • lol thanks, the guy in the video is clearly prejudice and VERY FOOLISH. He met a girl whom he truly connected with and she could have done wonderful things in his life, yet he disposed of her because of physical features she inherited? -_- Think about the dying breed of good women in this world and tell me he's not a fool. lol

  • I got alittle hot when he started talking about how he got a sick feeling! I mean I can't watch that video at all

    • Yes, it's hard I know.
      I'm black, I second guessed and paused too
      Really he's expressing the sick feeling of disgust at himself
      That's what made me feel so bad for him, irony of it all is as disgusted as he is he's unwilling to change

    • I know people have their own type, but we didn't need to know that, you just sat there and offended a lot of people which I know many people don't get a offended by that stuff but I do

  • LOL @ an Asian dude being picky. But to be fair, the black girl should've known better. She should've put it out there that she is black. A lot of black women act completely oblivious to the way they are viewed. And they think race never matters, well this was her wake up call.

    • I know lol way cuter guys out there, everyone has moments I guess
      I think black women, well all women are aware of how society views them and the drawbacks, I think she was just waiting until she won him over personality wise in hopes he could looks past it.
      Pluse there's this whole AMBW train everyone's trying to join.

      Random: what's up with your icon, its of two black girls but from the way you worded your answer I wouldn't have thought you were black

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    • Agreed, she's at fault
      That should've been revealed the first conversation. Lol not a day before the date
      Probably ruined her confidence for the next 10yrs

    • There are some black girls that almost exclusively only like Asian guys though, i've met a couple that don't even have a physical attraction to other races interestingly, perhaps she was one of those girls.