How to tell your boyfriend is just using you for sex? I'm scared he'll leave me after?

I've been with my bf for about a month and he brings sex up quite often. He says he wants something real and doesn't play games but idk, i'm scared he'll leave me if I agree to have sex with him. How do I know if he's just using me for it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • omg, you and like every woman throughout the history of friggin' time... take a number and get in line... seriously

    This is a woman's test in life, READING PEOPLE, and QUICKLY.

    Every time a woman is like, "*cries* and omg, I can't believe he hurt me, and like..." I can't I honestly can't. I zone out. Because in my head I'm thinking, "You're such a dumb c*nt. Yes. That's what you are, a dumb c*nt. Because if you weren't a c*nt, you'd actually pay attention to how people actually are instead of how you want them to be, and if you weren't dumb, you'd actually have the mental capacity and emotional intelligence to read a person in at least 1-2 weeks of dating them, and talking on the phone with them, and otherwise socially interacting with them. So, if you can't tell within 1-2 weeks whether you should say goodbye to him or start feeling comfortable enough to have a real relationship with him, then you deserve every single bit of what follows next, as nature's personal tailor-made punishment to you, until you learn. You're either going to have sex with the wrong guy in 2-4 weeks, and get hurt, or... you're not going to have sex with the right guy after 2-3 months and he's going to walk away from your life. So, you're either going to have a type 1 or type 2 statistical error, and you can't swipe your finger on the biometric reader a second time, guys don't work like that. You messed up either through a wrongful acceptance or wrongful rejection. Get better at turning those wrongful acceptances into rightful rejections, and turning those wrongful rejections into rightful acceptances, and you'll stop being hurt and alone! It's so friggn' simple! But instead, you're going off on a rant on how men are horrible and a "real man" who "really loved you and cared" would wait around for you like a knight in shining Gucci or Hugo Boss instead of accepting blame with yourself and starting to work on the real issue here... you."


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What Guys Said 1

  • Be mature, common sense and instincts will tell you. If you aren't ready for sex and he is loyal then he'll be okay with that. Good partners don't pressure their significant other into having sex, regardless of their own drive. Depending on your age and relationship goals a month may or may not be too soon.

    If you don't know him well enough then maybe its smart to wait but if you don't see yourself being with him long term and the attraction is purely "physical" then its okay if you are emotionally prepared. Just be prudent and consider your values.


What Girls Said 3

  • Don't give him sex and see if he hangs around.
    I think this is where the whole "waiting to have sex" became implemented because girls would have sex soon and then the guy would stop showing interest so if you wait, you avoid making that attachment and he shows his true colors. NEVER trust a guy's words unless they are consistent with their actions. That is a life lesson!

  • I personally think a month is much too soon for that. If it is your first time I think you should wait for the right moment and person. If not just see where things go, but if you are really uncomfortable with it don't do it.
    But if you feel like you are close enough confront him. Don't do it directly and accuse him of anything just lightly do it. Maybe explain to him how you wouldn't have sex this early in a relationship and see his reaction.
    But if you think he is the right person and it's not too early why not?

  • I was worried about this after having sex with my boyfriend for two months. So on Friday I didn't. I told him why and he explained to me that if I didn't want sex for one month or six he'd be okay with it because he's with me not just for the sex.