Should I date my friend that likes me? But I don't like him?

Yes I'm asking similar to one of those questions, that are disliked. I'm a bit at my wits end here---

I honestly don't want to date my friend bc I'm not attracted to him in that way. He keeps trying to insinuate being a couple or dating. I think he says that bc he's one of those people who don't know how to be to themselves, that he constantly has to be in a romantic relationship. He'll try to bash every guy I find attractive, bash my habits/saying I have various personality issues/flaws and yet ask why I don't find him attractive or want to date him. So a few of my friends suggested I date him for a couple weeks so he'll not want to have feelings like this towards me anymore. I just can't do that to myself and him. That'd be a long sad torturous couple weeks. Is there another way I can get him not to feel this way without dating?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Probably not, but I Do Suggest that you sit this Serious soap star down and have a 'Serious' Convo about How you feel, what to expect and Not, and tell him you just want to stay friends till the end, and you are honestly Not into anything More at this time.
    He may get a broken nose, this little pup, put on a few dramatics to try and change your mind, but don't let him 'Soft soap' You into Anything Any longer than just this Moment in time right now, as you are nipping this in the bud and letting him down easy that you have nothing to Plant besides a Non "romantic relationship.'
    Topple the Torture, put an end to the madness. If you stoop for This, then you will always have to Stoop whatever Poop he decides to throw your way. He's rude and crude and very demeaning, selfish as he tries to win his Damsel in Distress here with your so-called 'Flaws' that he most likely finds a turn on.
    And if he walks away and feels as though he is in the doghouse, this hopeless romantic who May start snubbing you, No longer sniffing around you, then you would have seen that he was just this sore loser, and put him on your list of fair weather friends who have come and gone. He's barking up the wrong tree, he needs to sit and obey and stop being so------Romantically Ruff.
    Good luck. xx

    • This has to be the best metaphoric analogy I could ever read about a dog being related to human.

    • Thanks so much... a pun for fun and as I say... Every dog his day... xx

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What Guys Said 7

  • I say you should. Give him a dare or two without prejudice.

    Why exactly don't you like him if my ask? Your answer might change mine

    • He has a general sour puss attitude. Indecisive and I'm physically not attracted to him in the least. Cute guy but not for me.

    • Show All
    • So you think trying the reverse psychology would work?

    • It could. I believe in that honesty is the best policy not only by what you say but what you do or behave around someone you don't like

  • Nope, there is no way to do this.

    You said he has a sour puss attitude and he is indecisive.
    Well... you could go out with him and "train" him *wink*

    Drop hints:
    "I like when guys take charge, you know? Like they show they are assertive and don't fuck around !"

    "Ugh... grumpy people are such a buzz-kill ! I mean i know life is hard but fuck, what's the point if you don't have some fun during your free time, you know?"

    Not directly at him, just "casual talk".
    If he is receptive he might change to adopt this new mindset and who knows , you MIGHT become attracted.

    Love is not just this "oh chemical" bullshit.

    On the other hand you don't appear to be really friends... but "friends". Aka you get the benefits and he sits there hoping.
    Stop seeing each other if you REALLY don't like him and let him move on with your life.

  • Nope, and don't think that dating will do it either.

    Tell him 'not happening' and to leave it alone, and if he doesn't take a direct message, tell him he's endangering the friendship.

  • He's not your friend. He isn't respecting your boundaries at all. And you're not his friend because he has romantic feelings for you. The friendship doesn't exist so... cut him off.

  • if you dont like him dont dont date him... simple.

    if you date him you will get a lot of shit from people bout dating him

    • How do you suggest I get him to stop trying to date me and to stop him from having the hope/idea that one day we will? I've tried distance, avoiding him¬ having conversation with him, being mean, being really nice, being a little gross (which pained me). Nothing seems to work.

    • you can't really chance a guys mind tbh. you just have to wait it out. thats what im doing with my ex gf now. she want me and i blocked everything but she still wants to date me. idek people are sometimes crazy

  • ummm why? why would you date someone you don't like?

    • That's what I said. It was suggested me by several people. Since I tried a wide range of other things to try and get him away from liking me in that way. It was suggested maybe I date him as a reverse psychology.

    • and what happens if he become more attached to you or develops more intense feelings while doing this "reverse psychology"? then you have to hurt him because you don't like him and you end up looking like the jerk for hurting his feelings. I'd say just tell him that you're not into him like that and more comfortable being just friends. If he can't handle that then you have to cut the ties.

    • I don't think I want to cut ties bc he's been one of my decent friends for a few years now. Just he recently tried to profess his feelings and I rejected them that day. I thought he was just playing around but he keeps bringing it up and the tone gets more and more serious everytime. That's what I told people about the reverse psychology, bc I don't want to for that reason. Ah man another friend down the drain.

  • Doesn't hurt to give it a try... you never know, you could wind up to really like him

    • That wouldn't happen. It's very hard for me to go out of what I like. Especially if there isn't at least one redeemable feature I really like on the person. Then personality is ok but good dude only goes so far with me.

    • Wow, OK, you're pathetic

    • Says a guy. While guys are naturally hypocrites for this. Women can be just like men in being more looks driven first. As soon as a woman admits that she gets bashed. Not every woman has that oh well, I'll love this about his personality if he doesn't have the looks I want. My friend is attractive but not my type. I'm just trying to spare his feelings.

What Girls Said 3

  • I'd say to flat out stop being his friend. Guy sounds like a real asshole.

  • It is not your responsibility to make him stop liking you in that way.

    Don't date him and let him deal with his feelings about that by himself.

  • I would not only not date him, but I'd put some distance in between us. He's not acting like a very good friend and forcing yourself to go out with him won't make things easier for you two. I know some men on here will say the complete opposite to give him a chance etc, but you have to do what is right for you.

    • I did try distance I didn't talk him for half the school year. I didn't talk to him all summer long hoping he'd find a girlfriend and forget about dating me. This has been going on since university started. He might confuse caring with dating but good friends of opposite gender can care without need to date.