What's the point of dating?

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but what's the point of dating when a person doesn't plan on getting married? I always thought that dating was getting to know a person to see if they are the person that you you potentially like to spend the rest of your life with (marry), so why do most people date even though they have absolutely no intentions of getting married? Is it for fun? If it was just for fun then why not call it friendship? Or is it just a politically correct way of saying "friends with benefits"?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with what most people here said, its a great way to learn how it is to be with a man/woman in a romantic relationship (which is what marriage is essentially) you get to learn from them, who they are and you can judge them to be worthy of being a potential husband/wife...

    I believe its more of a emotional/physical outlet two people can share and express to one another, getting to know their friends, who they really are, all that good sh*t and love.

    Its the whole experience that counts, even if it doesn't last, its an experience you can remember being fun or great, when you were happy, and if it does last then it isn't that worth it? isn't it worth dating and ending up with Mr. right? But like your friend said " you have to sift through all the frogs to get to the prince" is more of an excuse than an answer. we all know jerks are the ones who express themselves as being confident and etc. and they look more "manly" I guess you could say and girls are attracted by those qualities.

    And you learn from those experiences and you can learn from your mistakes and in the end, if you meet The guy, all this "training" will have helped you become a better lover, a better girlfriend and a better woman if I can go that far lol.

    its all one big exercise people do so they can be ready for the real thing, and even then they have a lot to learn from their current boyfriend or girlfriend.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Here are some possible answers; decide for yourself whether they are good or bad reasons to date someone...

    - it's fun

    - it's nice to have someone to come home / fear of being alone

    - don't want to get married, but want a more meaningful relationship than just screwing

    - not sure if you want to get married, trying out different people to see

    - sex is usually better when you've taken some time to get to know each other

    - serial monogamy: many people don't like sleeping with more than one person at a time, whether those relationships lead to marriage or not

    You're also right, "We're dating" is *sometimes* a euphemism for "We're friends and we're f***ing."

    There are some pretty good explanations on this page, too - so it wasn't a stupid question!

  • You've asked the million dollar question. Very insightful.

    Lots of people seem to view dating as an end, rather than a means. What I mean is that people often don't think past getting the girl/boyfriend, rather than rationally evaluating each person as a potential long-term match. Then 6 months later they wake up, realize they've devoted half a year to someone with radically different goals, and feel debased.

    Most girls your age will say they want to get married someday and have a family. But they don't seem to understand that the dating choices they make _now_ will have a long-term effect on their futures.

    My friends have accused me of being picky about dates. And they're correct. I'm _very_ picky, but not about looks. I'm picky about behavior, for some of the reasons you mentioned. I'm not dating with the goal of sex by the third date. I'm dating for the next 30 years.

  • It's not a stupid question at all. I agree with you completely. I've had friends in the past that have told me straight up that they knew they weren't gonna end up being with their current boyfriend/girlfriend forever or in a long run. I thought, wow, if you already know this..then why the hell are you even with them?! I guess to answer the question though I would have to say just to see what's out there..it lets you know more about yourself and what you're really looking for.

    • Do they actually tell their boyfriend/girlfriend that they only want a short term relationship or just wait until they're tired of them? I don't want to have to jump around to different people, but I know many people that would. One of my best friends said to me "...well you have to sift through all the frogs to get to the prince" to validate why she even date the guys that she knows are "frogs" and I was like "Well wouldn't you rather skip the frogs and go straight to the prince?"

    • I can't remember what she said in response but it was something along the lines of her explaining why it's better to date jerks and other guys that she wouldn't want to be with longer than a year max (actually she may have said something similar to your answer, that it lets you know what you want and do not want.

    • You are serious questionasker? lol so THAT is (one of) the reason girls go for jerks? wow they are dumb hahaha lots of good guys out there in plain sight but no, f*** em, lets go with the guy with the tatoos and fake self-confidence

  • Because one of the other goals of dating is; sex, money, ego boost, and a few others. Marriage is not always on the list.

  • Well, it's a good way to make friends, have fun with other people and not be in the house on the computer all day.

    FWB's don't get as close emotionally, so really dating is important for that as well.

    most importantly: How do you know if you don't want to get married if you don't look for someone who would make you want to?

    • I don't really know. Many of my friends say they would never get married and seem so appalled by marriage, yet they are more serious about dating than I am, and I'm the one that would like to get married one day.

    • You lost me at "good way to make friends"....... is that your strategy when you go meet a girl and have dates, eventualy have sex, then say "lets just be friends"??

    • You get to know their friends, my brother is still friends with his ex's brother and some of her friends

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with you. I have friends that like to date because it's a way to spend their time, meet new people and get free dinners. Personally, I will only date someone I really like so I can learn more about them and see if there's potential.

    • Same here. I can be just be friends with someone I don't see as being long term and hang out with him on a friend level.

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