Why is it the ones that are NOT my type pursuing me (fat and/or black)?

It seems like the fat girls and the black girls are the ones that pursue me. I am white with an athletic build. I just cannot find myself attracted to them, at least not at this point in my life. They are far from my type. Why is that?

No offense to them, they could be good and genuine girls, but I cannot find myself attracted to them. Don't hand me the "looks are not everything" crap because I recognize that. But you and I both know that looks are a small factor when it comes to attraction. I am not too picky, but there are limits.

Not trying to be a douche, but it's just frustrating. Then it makes me self conscience about myself.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've had the same issues with guys. I don't think you're a douche for not being attracted to them... there needs to be a certain level of attraction to have a lasting relationship and if the attraction isn't there, you can't exactly help it.

    • Thank you for the feedback.

      I have been on a never ending quest for months to find her. My criteria is so strict, it is like finding the needle in the haystack, really. She must be a virgin (I am one too) and she must be at least decently attractive (meaning I can have that spark and connection)

      I have a date coming up, crossing my fingers

    • good luck with that! Don't lower your expectations because then you'll end up settling instead of really getting what you want. There's someone out there with those same wants and you'll find her!

    • Thank you. Like I said, I have a date coming up. She is a virgin and attractive to me so far, I am just hoping for the best.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • Idk, I find I hard to believe that you would date an average skinny white girl than a stunner like Liya Kebede, Naomi Campbell or Jasmine Tookes? Wow.
    Idk, also I've seen some beautiful girls with rather zaftig bodies because they had such lovely faces which is way more tthan I can say for some skinny girls.
    Not gonna grill you on your preferences but to me it's just kind of stange considering finding a skinny, ok looking face to pretty face, white AND a virgin is ridiculously hard to find. Just saying.

    • I just found one.

    • ... and I have a date with her coming up

    • Ok, then why are you complaining on here in the first place?

  • what do you look like? I don't see too many sistas really paying attention to white boys like that so for you to say the bulk of the attention you get is from black girls? its either ur environment (going to all black areas and black hangout spots?) or you look blacker than you think (ethnic white, octoroon looking?)

    • It is online

    • oh online doesn't count. I don't know but online people are weird. you have to go by the results you get in the real world

    • That is where I do most of my dating because I have a wide variety and can narrow it down easily. I am afterall seeking only virgins (I am one too).

  • Let 'em down nicely and move on. Water you getting frustrated for? lol. There are some people who don't attract anyone at all.

    • I get frustrated because I feel it may be a sign that I am not as attractive as many tell me. Because I have a possible theory that people are attracted to others with like-features and characteristics. For example, below average pursuing below average, or hot girls pursuing hot guys. Get where I am coming from?

    • I get where you're coming from and it's really a shame that you feel that way because it's not true.

  • At least you aren't repelling chicks or maybe you are? Both statements can be true here... you could get a no fat chicks shirt, but if you get one that says no black chicks, whatch your back.

    • What do you mean by "repelling". Do you think these girls are attracted to me because we are alike feature-wise? (Example: average type attracted to average type)

      People always said and rated me anywhere between above average to hot.

    • Anything that can happen will happen. Relax and reject them... the rest will take care of itself. Or you can go up to girls.

  • Maybe you're not as great as you think? Yah duh attraction is a huge part of dating so don't settle but you should also keep in mind many men would kill to be pursued by anyone so consider yourself lucky.

    • I admit I am not perfect either. I am definitely not the son of God.
      Do you think it is because the ones that are my type don't have to worry about pursuing guys because guys pursue them constantly?

    • Show All
    • If you haven't even been on a first date yet and she already told you she's a "virgin", chances are she's not. But good for you nonetheless, hopefully you find what you're looking for.

    • No, I am pretty confident she is a virgin. She is religious.

  • What's wrong with black women?

    • Nothing. Just not my type.

    • why aren't they your type?

  • Your are a racist C**t! Men do u know what your on about. What if black girls are the ones meant for you, what if they are fat. So what ur saying is black girls are not ur type. U can go Ahead and date white skinny girls, but they might be wicked in heath The woman who you call *fat* is there trying her best to look skinny & be more presentable to you. But then there's you, an ignorant up himself Ego. Man u a dumb as motherf****r!

    • I would know if they are my type, because I would have that chemistry or initial attraction. On the contrary, there are girls who may be hot in my eyes, but once I meet them, find out there personality or the way they conduct themselves is unattractive.

      It is just that I am not attracted to black girls or fat girls on a romantic and sexual level. Maybe as platonic friends, but not any further. That is not racist, I cannot help who I am attracted to.

      I do, however, find myself attracted to some mulatto girls.

  • I experience the reverse of this. Unattractive people have nothing to lose, hence engaging in the conduct you outline. Their view is that if they ask enough times , someone will say 'Yes'. Women have to sit back and wait for guys to approach. So experiencing what you have outlined is all the more frustrating. You have the benefit of it being socially acceptable for you to approach the object of your affections- so do so. (Unless you are already doing this and getting rejected). If so, then I agree with caramel's comment below (to be blunt)

    • What do you mean by reverse? You mean there are guys you don't find attractive pursuing you, or that the attractive ones seem to be pursuing you the most?

    • Show All
    • I meant 'set' it vs 'see it' in my last post.

    • Well here is the kicker, she MUST be a virgin. Fortunately, I have a date with one coming up.

What Guys Said 2

  • I understand not being attracted to fat chicks, im a athlete myself. I run track. But you really never seen any cute black chicks before? You seem like a tool, forreals.

    • There was one black girl I thought was attractive (and maybe two or three random strangers), but that is it.

  • I don't know. Why do I always attract girls with 50 tattoos and every part of their body pierced? Or girls with three kids, each one from three different men?

    Sounds like we both have a problem of getting rid of the ones we don't want.

    Try never leaving the house. Should work.

    • I have been on a search for months, my criteria is very strict. She must be a virgin (I am one too) and she must be at least decently attractive, both looks and personality.

      I have a date coming up, crossing my fingers hoping she is the one.