I need some advice. Torn about what to do?

So this is a very abbreviated scenario here.

I asked my best friend of 3 years out about 2 months ago. She asked me for some time to think things over and reflect on me asking her out. We still hang out on the regular and still do our regular things (wine tastings, bar hopping, and dinner). A month goes by and I ask her out, she asks me if it was a date, and I asked her why she asked me. She says she wants to make sure she's on the same page. I ask which page that is and she says that she's still thinking things over. Another couple of weeks goes by and I have a meltdown and she asks me what's wrong and I ask her to talk before she goes for vacation, but didn't get the chance.

Now. Part of me really wants to see what she has to say, and some of me still has some hope that she's not a lost cause. The other half of me really wants to move on from her romantically so I asked this other girl out and I have a date on Tuesday.

I'm really torn between holding on to what's looking more and more like a false sense of hope, and trying to move on. I fear that if I go on this date, and my friend comes back that if we have the talk and she comes clean in a positive manner that I will have played this girl I am going on a date with on Tuesday. And I don't want to hurt anyone.

I need some sense of what's going on in my friend's head. I don't care if she decides to go out with me, or shoot me down. She's my friend and I'll stand by her... but I need to know what she's thinking.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Something I would suggest remembering, a date does not equal going steady.
    You can date multiple people, it just means you are checking out your options.
    It's when you get serious or intimate that it is bad form to be seeing other people.
    Up until the point you agree to be exclusive with someone, it's still ok to see others.
    Dating is about getting to know someone, going out and seeing if you share interests and goals.
    A relationship is exclusive and generally monogamous.

    If you date this new girl, and it turns into a relationship, then so be it. Your friend had months to try and stake her claim.
    Your friends behavior would probably be better analyzed by a female.
    To me it looks like either she is not interested in dating, but just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
    Or she wants to date, but either isn't ready to take the plunge, or wants you to ask her out again.
    Regardless, either way, she had her chance. If you end up with someone else, and she wants to be with you, she has only herself to blame.
    You made your intentions clear.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • your best friend cannot get angry at you if you go out on a date as she has spent way too long considering her options. all she misdoing is waiting for when the time suits her but quite frankly her door has closed and so what if you go out with another girl, you won't have played her because you didn't know whether your best friend liked you or not. I think its time for you to go out with other people and you might find it a lot easier to get over this girl, i think friendship i the best place for her to stay.
    good luck with you date on Tuesday :)


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!