The fact that my father doesn't let me out a lot is ruining my relationship ?

Hey everyone , so yesterday my boyfriend told me that he feels like he is losing me because we don't see each other a lot although we were toghether last week... he also said that he wants to see me everyday and that he can't stand staying away from me... But my parents are so protecive and they let me go out with my friends once every one or two months... i dont know what to do i am really desperate.. i adore my guy and i dont want to loose him... any help please?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Simple. As kyour parents if they are doing it for your own good.
    If they answer yes, it's time to seriously guilt trip them.
    is this bad? Personally i owuldn't give a fuck about that. You're old enough to take care of yourselves, and it sounds like your parents are limiting your social activity.

    Some tips you can use to do this.
    * If they admit they do it for your own good, ask them how reducing and negatively affecting your social skills, preventing you from seeing friends and thus establishing contacts that will be valuable in adult life, AND preventing you from finding someone you want to share your life with can count as YOUR OWN BEST.
    * Ask them if they consider you an adult. IF they say "no" tell them to look again at your age and tell you what they see. If they still say no, your parents need a SERIOUS wakeup call. If they now admit you're an adult, ask them why they're treating you like a child.
    * point out to them how they're limiting your social interreaction, and provide documented facts that a lack of social interreaction reduce social skills, which again puts you at a disadvantage throughout large parts of your adult life. (i know this is right, but i only got sources in norwegian so i'm afraid you'll have to find them on your own. sorry)

    is this pure evil? no, it's pure manipulation. Should you feel bad for this? in most cases, yes , but seeing as how your own family seems to be using the same game to limit your social interreaction.

    Just an FIY: if they are actually preventing you from going, while you're an adult, it's enough to get a trial on them if you absolutely have to (at least in most western worlds).
    Make them stop seeing you as their child, but rather as a grown up person.

    • actually they dont let me go out a lot because they are afraid that somethimg bad would happen to me.. i have 3 sisters older than me and they experienced the same problem.. i tried to tak with them about it but they always say:'' you are still young'' or '' its not the right time yet ''

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    • he knows everything.. and im still surprised that he didn't dumb me yet.

    • I'm not. It means he wants you :)
      Congratz, he's more than a little into you.
      In what way does he feel like he's loosing you? that you're pulling away from him, or that the lofe from his side is gradualy fading because of you two not being together?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • If this guy loves you he should be willing to work with you to see you
    when your able to see him... I would definitely think a couple should be
    able to date , share time together at least twice a week
    I know if i have a girlfriend i would want see her at least twice a week
    spend time texting, talking on phone all in between

    • If i had girlfriend, i would want see her twice week or more, i couldn't
      really see a relationship working if i could only see her twice month
      now long distance is different situations

  • From my perspective it seems just fine seeing your girl/guy once or twice a week..
    seeing her/him everyday gets boring at some point and isn't healthy for the relationship either.
    maybe he's going a little too fast?

    • yes i know that but i am not able to see him once a wee.. sometimes i feel guilty and i am afraid of breaking up.

    • well maybe you could try to negotiate with your parents about this? i mean.. parents can be very protective for their daughter. i would too. but maybe you can come to an arrangement/agreement that fulfills both sides, parents and you.
      it might be stupid what im asking/saying. you can completly ignore and see fit for another opinion. but thats just what i would try.

    • no it's not stupid.. actually it gives me an idea thank you :)

What Girls Said 1

  • If your over 18 you dont need your parents permission

    Maybe ask if you can have your boyfriend over?

    • i can't ask them for that.. they are really very traditional and don't accept that i have a boyfriend at my age :/

    • Awe im sorry. I hope you figure it out.
      Maybe just go hang out with him anyway with or without there permission.
      My parents were the same way. I know its hard

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