Did I do something wrong, he seems interested and distant at the same time? I'm seriously confused!!?

Obviously I like this guy. I have been dating him for 4 months, the first to month we just talked, not dates or anything, cause I wanted to take it slow.

He told me at one point after we'd been on dates and do all that couply things, that he was confused about us, and that he wanted to take the next step, but he would also respect it, if I wanted to stay friends. I said that I wanted to be exclusive, I just wanted to take things slow.

When I'm out with my friends, I tell him that I will be out, and that I will text him afterwards, and he does the same. But lately he keeps saying "if i seem distant or busy, just let me know" - and i told him "yeah I'll let you know, and you should let me know too if I am that way".

Then he starts the disappearing act last week for the first time, he just disappeared for 2 hours, without saying a word. He returned, told me he had to pick up his brother bla bla, and I didn't say anything because it was the first time.

A couple of days ago, he did the disappearing act again. He didn't text for 2,5 hours, and came up with some lame excuse that his app didn't work, and we had a fight because it was obvious that he lied. And I got mad, because it was just disrespectful, and he himself would get mad if I did it. He then keeps saying "I don't understand why you wouldn't remind me that I haven't texted you" and I said "why should I, when you obviously got my message" ยด.

He then says: "and what can we learn from this? I suggest we should text each other max 30-45 minutes later, and if we don't we'll sent a second message reminding each other".

It was like it was all planned from the beginning - am I being weird for thinking that he planned this the whole time?


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  • It seems like you're a little to clingy. Maybe he needs his space and maybe he doesn't like texting you all the time. Most guys get uninterested in girls who are clingy all the time. He was only away for a few hours and you shouldn't expect him to text you all the time. Maybe you should leave it for longer sometimes. With my boyfriend we hardly text but we meet each other frequently. Just don't get so annoyed at him for not texting you back straight away.

    I hope this helps

    • I'd rather want him to say he's out with some friends, even though he might be home, i mean how would i know, rather that than pulling the disapparering act.

      But if i am being clingy (you might be right) then why is he setting up rules for our texting, normally we would text each other an hour later which is way more than what he wants?

    • Hmm. He might not be setting up rules as such, it may just be like he forgot to text you before he was going out. He's only dissapearing for 2 hours so I guess it's not really dissapearing he may just be busy. Him dissapearing in my opinion would be like 5 days or so without texting- then I'd worry and ask if he was okay.

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