Girl that is a friend is now single after a couple years?

Long story long...

I have a friend who I have been into for a couple of years now. She has been single for a little while now and I am ridiculously into her. I understand that I have dabbled in the "friend zone" with her since I was trying to be respectful of her relationship...

I have come to the realization that if I have any chance at this, the dynamic of the relationship has to change. Being more flirty and less sterile and worried about inappropriateness, for one. We are going out on a ship for an event, which I guess is a good thing. I'm not planning on expressing my undying love for her while a couple miles out at sea since that is some heavy stuff, but would you say some increased physical contact and actually SHOWING that I am interested would be the right idea? Not talking about kissing her out of the blue, but just like more hugs and opening doors for her and putting my hand on the small of her back? Any feedback on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. Hoping I could get some female feedback about this as well =)
Turns out she invited a couple other people to the ship activity i mentioned. Tried to hold my ground saying I wanted to catch up with her one on one, but all she replied with was "aww, sorry =("

Uber friend zone? Salvegable?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You are right, the dynamic of the relationship has to change, but you need to understand that is also true from her point of view too! She may have you in the friendship category still and it may take time for her to start seeing you in a different way too. I agree with you that nothing too heavy should be advanced on this boat event, but I like the idea of you taking small steps towards being more a guy she could date rather than just be friends with. Good luck!


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What Girls Said 2

  • You got the right idea in increasing physical contact just don't be too touchy all at once. Use your words too, to compliment her. Girls love compliments! They also love chivalry which is kind of rare these days, so opening doors for her, pulling her chair out before she sits down, things like that girls get swayed by - at least I did when I met my crush. Treat her like you're on a nice date alone but without all the intimacy that way she can feel comfortable around you and see what you're like if ever she wants to go on a real date with you. Make her feel special and don't ever talk about other girls or she'll think she's in the friendzone.

  • This is a great opportunity for you to make small movements to be flirty and compliment her. Make note of her body language and topic of conversation. Does she blush when you compliment her? Does she casually hold onto your arm? Is she complaining about other men? If so, she might see you as just a friend. But certainly make respectful moves as you mentioned above. If she reacts positively make more noticeable moves that indicate you are more interested than a friendship. If she ever makes strong eye contact with you and looks at your lips, then she wants to kiss you.


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